Slow Fire Burn
by Ladyamesindy
Summary: The war is over and Commander Maleea Shepard has survived ... barely. Retired and returned to a home she never quite forgot, she has a new battle ahead of her: facing the many consequences of decisions made during her time in the Alliance.
1. Prologue

_**This is a story I started many months ago. It won't be a super long one (aiming for a total of about 13 chapters including pro/epilogues), but Maleea Shepard is an interesting character. I hope you enjoy her tale.**_

_**The title of the work comes from the lyrics to Matt Nathanson's song, "Run"**_

* * *

My name is Maleea Robyn Shepard. I am seven-and-a-half-years-old-going-on-eight and I live with my father on a farm on the colony of Mindoir. I like being outside with my daddy when he's working and sometimes he even lets me help. I really like it when he drives the big harvester machine and lets me pretend to do the driving. He says someday I'll be a good farmer just like him.

For almost two years now, it's been just me and my daddy. Mama got really sick when I was little and passed away before they could get her fixed. For a long time we were sad. I didn't want to eat or sleep or go to school, and at night I'd cry for mama to come back to us, but daddy said we had to be brave and keep going. He said mama would have wanted us to do that. So, we did.

Today's a special day though. Today daddy's going to show me how to shoot his gun. He thinks I'm old enough now. It's a big 'sponsibility, he says, but he thinks I'm smart enough to know how to judge if I need it. I think he's scared, though, and wants me to know how to keep bad people away. What makes him scared? Well … I'll tell you, but just don't tell him I know, okay?

See, he doesn't know I saw him the other night. But, I did. He was watching a report on the late news and thought I was in bed. Only, I wasn't. I was very thirsty and I'd got up to get a glass of water. That's when I heard him downstairs. Well, I heard the news on the vid screen anyways. I came down all sneaky and quiet like, just to make sure he was okay. Mama would have wanted me to do that. To check up on him. Anyway, the man on the news was talking about some colony like ours, out here in the Traverse. They got attacked. People were taken away. Kids mostly, I think. Then, when we were in town today, I heard him and Mr. Warren talking about it, too. Daddy thought I was looking at the toys, but I have really good ears and I hear things. Even across a big store like that. I don't know what a 'tarian is? But I don't think I want to if Mr. Warren and daddy are right about them.

Anyways, I go to school in town. My teacher is a nice lady - Mrs. Kinnick. Well, she's nice as long as you're quiet and you do as she says. Sammy Nichols doesn't, though, and he's _always_ getting in trouble. He'll pull girls' hair, call us names, knock our books off our desks, that sort of thing. Mr. Evans says Sammy's just 'flirting' with the girls. I asked him what that meant, but he just laughed and said I'd know one day. That one day, Sammy would tell me he liked me. I don't believe Mr. Evans, though. Sammy makes fun of my name, but only when we're outside playing or on our way home. One of these days I'm gonna clock him good, I swear! He's so mean and it makes me so mad! But daddy says we have to learn to pick carefully which battles we fight. He says that no matter how a boy might make fun of my name, it's not a battle worth fighting because I already know the important thing - that it's _my_ name, not Sammy's, and if I'm proud of it, what does it matter what Sammy Nichols thinks? Secretly, though, I still wanna clock him good! He still deserves it! I think daddy knows I want to, though. He reminds me each night when he tucks me in that he is proud I have such good 'self restraint,' whatever that is. If I didn't think it would make daddy disappointed, I think I'd do it. Oh, well.

Oh, I see daddy coming back from checking the fields. That means it's time for my shooting lessons, I guess. I hope daddy's right that I'm 'sponsible enough! I'll show him best I can.


	2. Home Fires

There were days like this one, when during the wee hours of the morning as she prepared for the upcoming activity, Maleea's thoughts would drift. Usually gentle meanderings back to times that, though more fraught with danger and uncertainty, were nonetheless dear to her heart because of whom she'd spent them with. Friends. Comrades. Brothers and sisters, all. Those whom she knew would have her back in times of need and whom she'd do the same for, no matter the time, situation or cost. She'd not joined the Alliance so many years before expecting to find that, to come upon a second family to replace the one she'd lost, but maybe that was what made the friendships so special in the first place. That unexpected nature in which they'd sparked and developed and lasted. The trials and tribulations that they'd had to work their way through together. The way they'd found to hold on to it all, helping each other survive until the end.

A bark at the back door alerted Maleea. Cup of tea in hand, she pulled the barrier open, ushering in Chief and LT, allowing them access to their meals. For a moment, she stood leaning against the door frame of the kitchen, arms crossed, slight smirking smile tilting at her lips as she watched them. Each had their own bowl (she'd found that out the hard way - neither wanted to share!), and every now and then, if one got just a tad bit too close to the other, they would nip out, just offering a reminder of the other's place in the grand scheme of things. But all in all, Maleea was quite pleased. Who would have ever thought that a German Shepherd and a biotic varren would even get along half so well as these two did? A quick glance over at the wall separating the kitchen from the front room and she was able to see that her assorted fish, survivors from her days on the _Normandy SR2_, seemed to be doing well. Mr. Wiggles, too, appeared quite content in his elaborate cage, a multi-tiered contraption also built into the wall just above the fishtank. At the moment, he was peering at her through the slats of one of his 'wheels of doom' as she called them (he had a tendency to fall out of the things when they began moving too fast), but he seemed content in his observations. As a safety precaution, both units were now operated by separate feeding VIs, and Maleea could safely count on the continued survival of her pets without much interference or forgetfulness on her part.

The sudden, persistent beeping from the back of the house caught her attention then and Maleea turned towards it. It was a familiar sound, the indication of an incoming message. There was only one person who would contact her like this, at any hour of the day. Only one who had unfettered access to her … and the permission to do so. Taking a seat, Maleea hit the 'accept call' button and smiled as a familiar face materialized before her. "Hey, Blue," she greeted Liara, her warm, sleepy-sounding drawl echoing throughout the room. "Good to hear from you."

"Shepard," the asari returned, a smile just as warm. The nickname had arisen one evening after a few drinks too many, and was one that Liara had admitted she would only allow Maleea to use. An act of faith and trust that had been repaid a thousandfold since. "All is well, I take it?"

Maleea nodded. "Same old, same old," she replied using the expression that had so confounded the poor asari when they'd first met. _How can something be the same when everything changes?_ she'd asked repeatedly until finally, after several discussions with the rest of the crew, she'd understood. Taking a sip of her tea, Maleea added, "So, to what do I owe the pleasure of your call at …," she glanced over at her chronometer, "five-thirty in the morning? Hmm? The sun's not even up yet, Blue!"

Where Liara at one point in time might have become flustered, afraid that she'd overstepped some boundary with Shepard of which she was unaware, she simply chuckled in amusement now. Evolution had turned it into a deep and abiding friendship, one built and tested over time and battle conditions. Chuckling, the asari gave her friend a knowing look. "Oh, nothing important," she promised. "A bit of this, a bit of that. Also a heads up that by evening Jack and Zaeed will be there to visit, so make your dinner plans accordingly."

Maleea snorted softly, managing to make the sound come across somewhat gracefully in her usual southern manner. "Well, this ought to make for a fine evening indeed," she returned with a grin. "Any particular reason for this visit I should know about?"

"Well, I did ask Zaeed to bring a few things to you, but nothing out of the ordinary."

Maleea nodded. She half expected vague answers like that these days. Not that she believed Liara was hiding anything from her, at least, nothing that would outwardly affect her, but still, she _was_ the Shadow Broker. On the other hand, of all her friends, Zaeed and Jack were the two whom Maleea most expected to visit. It wasn't often that they'd show up at the same time, though. Eyes narrowing, Maleea once again pondered that. "Oh? What sort of things?"

Another chuckle. "You'll see," she replied evasively. "However, I did finally manage to get my hands on that new prototype Claymore …."

Maleea's eyes widened. "You didn't!" she gasped as she leaned towards the visual display. The Claymore had been her favorite weapon during service. "How did you manage that?"

"Well, I did have to sweet talk Wrex a little," Liara admitted, "but you know he always was more than just a bit … susceptible to my charms."

Maleea giggled as she saw Liara smirk. Though Wrex and Liara had flirted a lot during their years together, it had all been harmless enough. "You told him you were giving it to me, didn't you?" she countered.

"Yes. I believe his exact words were, 'If anybody can find a weakness in it, it's Shepard.'"

Maleea snorted. "So he wants a guinea pig for his new toy." Grinning, she nodded. "I can do that, I suppose."

"He's also sent along an assortment of mods for you to choose from. I think he thinks that if you approve of it, then it will give the sales a boost."

Maleea chuckled this time. "Of course, he does. Well, please thank him for me and assure him I will give it a thorough test." Sighing, she settled back into her chair. She had a few minutes to spare before chores and duty would call her attention away, and she did so miss her friends. "Heard from anyone else lately?" It was periodic chats like this that kept Maleea tuned into what was going on outside of Mindoir these days, too.

"Well, let's see …." As they talked, Maleea kept a vague eye on the clock. These chats were important to her, but she still had a farm to run. Thankfully, Liara was pretty good about staying to the point and not digressing too badly. "Oh," the asari added a few moments later, "James has been promoted to Lieutenant Commander."

Maleea laughed aloud in delight. "Oh, boy!" she exclaimed. "How'd he take that?"

"I believe his words were, 'Well, if Lola could do it, then so can I,' or something along those lines."

Maleea nodded. She recalled the several occasions that she and James had chatted about his career, about the N7 program and about the future prospects of advancement. While there had been some … nervousness? there at first, by the end she had no doubts that he'd worked through whatever concerns he might have had on that end. "Good," she replied. "Too bad he can't stop by, though. It's been too long."

"He still talks about that last visit," Liara reminded her.

Maleea sighed. Somehow, Vega had figured out her penchant for old music. But instead of tracking down songs or vids, he'd gone in search of a guitar and given it to her on the year anniversary of the end of the war when he'd come to visit. He had heard about her refusal to attend the 'official' ceremony on the Citadel, as well as any Alliance functions, and had decided to track her down on his own, make certain she was doing alright. Or so he'd said at the time. The guitar had been not so much a gift to celebrate the end of the Reaper War as much as it had been a way of celebrating the fact they'd both survived intact. Thing was, it had been the perfect gift for her. From the time she was little, her father had played for her, teaching her how in the process. But no one had known that little fact. It was one of the few well kept secrets from her past that she'd never let slip before. To this day, she still wasn't certain if Vega had figured it out on his own, or if it had just been a damned lucky guess, but she'd ended up playing the instrument during his visit that time. "I'm sure he does," she returned with a fond smile. Whatever the truth behind it, the gift had been appreciated and she had made certain he was aware of that before leaving. "How's Steve doing?"

"He's good. They've still got him aboard the _Normandy_. He claims it isn't quite as glamorous as when he was shuttling Commander Shepard around, but he does that more to tease James, I think."

Maleea smiled at that. She and Cortez had ended up with a friendship she'd trade nothing for. Having him as a friend was almost like having a brother. His dedication and loyalty to her remained to this day, even. "Yeah, he would. But he and James get along just as well as he and I ever did. Is Dr. Chakwas still aboard?"

"She is. Oh, and she says you aren't to touch the included bottle of Serrice Ice Brandy until she visits next. I think she's a bit put out about the last time she sent you some."

"Hey!" Maleea protested. "That wasn't _my_ fault! Traynor and you, I believe, were the ones to polish that off … and that was before I even knew about it!"

Liara chuckled. "Yes, but the good doctor doesn't know that," she reminded her friend.

Rolling her eyes, Maleea added, "Yet," before rising to her feet.

Liara laughed aloud. "No doubt," she agreed fondly. "I'm sure you must be off to start your day," she continued a moment later. "From what Jack told me, she and Zaeed should arrive late-afternoon your time."

Maleea nodded. "I will keep an eye out. Thank you for the heads up, Blue."

"My pleasure. Stay well, Shepard."

It didn't occur to Maleea until she had grabbed her jacket, allowed LT and Chief out of the door ahead of her and was walking towards the barn that Liara hadn't mentioned anything about Kaidan. Garrus, she knew to be back on Palaven working with the Primarch to rebuild that planet. Tali, too, had gone to Rannoch once the relays were in working order, rejoining her people and coordinating with the geth to make the transition from a fleet-based society to a land-based one easier for the quarians. Miranda was off … somewhere, doing what she did best which most likely meant that Maleea would never find out. It was probably just as well, though. What she didn't know wouldn't harm her, right? Kasumi, Jacob, Grunt and Wrex … everyone from her past teams, Maleea had heard from at one point or another over the past two years.

Everyone. Except for Major Kaidan Alenko.

It was difficult to put into words why this concerned her, but it did. As she worked in the barn, preparing for the rest of the day to be spent in the fields, Maleea considered this. Why did his lack of communication bother her so much?

Truth was, she supposed, he was probably her closest lasting friend left from the SR1, excluding Joker, of course. From almost the beginning it had been her, Kaidan and Ashley with Joker quite literally along for the ride. Maleea smiled softly as she remembered their lost friend. The three of them together had been quite a team whether on the battlefield or on the Citadel. Maleea's commanding presence, Kaidan's cool thinking and Ashley's fearlessness had blended into a team worthy of note. The decision Maleea had had to make to leave Ash behind on Virmire had been one of the toughest choices in a career built on difficult ones. However, as Ash had said at the time, it was the right call to make. Kaidan hadn't understood at first, or more accurately, hadn't wanted to understand, insisting that it should have been him. Those first few hours after, as they were headed back towards the Citadel, Maleea had taken time to sit with him, alone, and explain. In the end, they had both come to a mutual understanding over the decision and it had been one that had ultimately strengthened the bond of their friendship.

At least until Maleea herself had 'died' and woken up to find herself, in one of life's amazing and indescribable plot twists, allied with Cerberus. Or, rather, utilizing Cerberus' resources to fight towards a common goal. To this day, she still refused to accept that it had been a true 'alliance.' Of course, Kaidan hadn't understood that either, though to be honest, Maleea couldn't fault him for his reaction to the situation. She hadn't particularly trusted the Illusive Man either, but he _had_ been giving her the resources needed to fight against the Collector threat at the time. And god, she sure could have used Kaidan's help then. He was more than just a good friend - he was a buffer for her, too. A sounding board. Another side of her moral compass, challenging her when she edged too close to the line. And since waking up after being dead for two years, there had been a lot more of the whole 'getting too near the edge' thing going on. His refusal to join her team at that time had cut deep, but she'd understood it at least. He was Alliance through and through, she could respect that. He didn't like to cut corners, he'd warned her about that before, too. For the most part, she'd agreed with him there, but this … this had been different. So many innocent lives at stake … and the Alliance had been doing nothing to help them. It had also hit just a bit too close to home for her after the way in which she had left Mindoir fifteen years before that.

Maleea might have, at one point in time, thought to blame Kaidan's absence for her shorter temper and less than diplomatic approaches during that time, but deep down she knew the only one to blame was herself. She'd become not so much irrational as she was desperate. Everything had been tied into the the coming of the Reapers, signalling the fact that they were going to try yet again. Her frustration at trying to make those in positions to do something understand this increased constantly until, finally, time just ran out.

Seeing Kaidan outside the Committee chambers that day had been unexpected, but the smile he'd given her had been a relief. They hadn't been in contact with each other for nearly a year by then, but knowing him as she did, the smile had gone a long way to reassure her that if not perfectly back to where they'd been before, they were well on their way. At least, until Cerberus had shown up on Mars. Christ, that had been a SNAFU of epic proportions. Maleea had wondered if Kaidan would ever get over his mistrust of her after that. But he'd surprised her this time, later openly admitting that he'd been wrong about her, that he'd made some mistakes. The solidity of their friendship firmly re-established at that point, the next time the Illusive Man tried to play one of them against the other, it backfired on him. And not a moment too soon. That last run to the end of the war had been killer. Always on the defensive, and facing two enemies instead of one, Maleea had needed Kaidan's input to help her focus. To give her perspective. To just … be there. As a reminder. Solid. Grounding. A pillar of support.

It was only after the war that she allowed herself to consider things in more depth, with more scrutiny and in a much broader yet more personal sense. But by that point, Kaidan had disappeared. He had survived, she'd been told that much on James' first visit to her in the hospital. The injuries that he and Liara had received during that last push to the conduit had been serious, but not life-threatening. But afterwards? Well, there had been that short time, during Maleea's initial search and rescue phase and the first couple of months in the hospital where she'd been in and out of consciousness, when the entire _Normandy_ crew had been stuck on that awful tropical planet. But later, once they'd returned … everyone had come to visit her, to check on her, to make certain she'd survived. Everyone except Kaidan. And all she could remember when she thought of him at that time was that last, horrified look on his face as she'd ordered him and Liara leave the battlefield. Was it any wonder Maleea thought he might hate her for that?

Shaking her head free from her reveries, Maleea glanced over at LT and Chief. "Come on, you two," she called, reaching for the shotgun she always kept on hand, just in case. "We've got some fields to check on before the kids get here." And just like that, she was back down to the business at hand.

- = O = -

"Still say you need a goddamn -"

"Oh, give it a rest, asshole!" Jack jeered as she tossed back a long pull of her beer. "Shepard's got things well enough under control."

Maleea nearly spat out her drink at that, but it seemed effective enough. Zaeed, grumbling the entire time beneath his breath, turned back towards the barbeque to fuss over their dinner. A quick glance over at Jack and she spotted the amusement twinkling in the biotic's eyes. "He loves it," she murmured with a smug laugh.

Maleea just rolled her eyes and struggled to regain her composure. It was strange, she thought as she sat there with the evening sun lowering but not yet settled, Eezo, LT and Chief chasing each other around the large yard, just how close she'd become to these two particular friends. Zaeed reminded Maleea a bit of her father, if her father had been battle worn, had a more mercenary nature and cursed up a blue streak with every sentence uttered, she supposed. And Jack … well, Jack was like a favorite little sister, or perhaps cousin. Maleea wasn't certain what either was really like, of course, not having had any, but despite the tenuous nature of their initial meeting, things had turned out rather well. "No doubt," she finally managed before reaching over to grab a carrot stick to munch on.

"So," Jack began, lounging back in her chair, "things been quiet around here?"

Maleea snorted softly. "Sure. Not like it's the Citadel during wartime or anything. No clones sneaking onto the property, so yeah, it's been quiet."

"Sounds boring."

Maleea chuckled. "I find that I like boring just fine," she retorted. "I've had my share of adventure. It's time to let the younger crowd take their turn."

"Never would've taken you for a goddamn coward," Zaeed tossed over.

Had Maleea had any other sort of relationship with the man, she might have taken offense to his words. As it was, both knew just how wrong that statement was. Hell, he'd been with the rescue party that had found her on the Citadel after the Crucible had fired. His was the only face she vaguely remembered from that time, his voice a hazy, yet surprisingly distinct memory. _Don't you die on me, Shepard! I'll not be the one to tell the others._

"Zaeed," she called over to him mildly, "I never would have taken you to be such a softie."

Both Jack and Maleea smothered giggles as Zaeed grunted and turned back towards the grill. It never ceased to amaze Maleea just how lucky she'd been in her friends. Zaeed, the seemingly rough and gruff mercenary who, when one got right down to it, had a heart of … well, if it had been gold he might have sold it for all the credits it was worth, but if the chips were down, he was one man who could be counted on to be there. _IF_ you were a friend. Maleea smirked slightly as she sipped at her drink.

Jack, on the other hand …. Maleea eyed her biotic friend for a long moment. Not the best of starts to their friendship, guns held against each other as they both were trying to escape the prison of Purgatory, but after that initial encounter, things had … gelled. It had taken some doing, some trust issues had been involved, and finally a confrontation of a more personal nature before finally, the trust had started to show. Maleea had only come to find this out almost a year later during the Reaper War when she'd come across Jack defending her biotic students at Grissom Academy. From that point forward, though, their friendship had been sealed. Loud, brash, and often obnoxious, the tattooed woman was, in many respects, one of Maleea's best friends.

She was also responsible for the ink Maleea now sported on the left half of her torso. From wrist to shoulder and even down a portion of her back and breast, the design was one of loops and swirls and abstract flower images. It had been a fanciful idea at the time, and Maleea still wasn't quite sure how the exact design had come about (she highly suspected Miranda had influenced it) especially given that there had been drinking involved at the time. But overall she liked the tattoo and she was thankful that Jack had been the one to do it. As she saw it, it showed another level of trust between them. Dr. Chakwas, on the other hand, had not been quite so sure. At the time, Maleea had been only about six months out from her near fatal experience with the Crucible. To see Jack and the doctor face off over the tattoo had been a morale boost, though, and in the end, no real harm had been done.

"Hey, you crazy bastard," Jack yelled over at Zaeed, "you almost done with that food? Some of us would like to eat this century!"

"Hold onto your goddamn horses!" he bristled.

Jack winked over at Maleea and countered, "Feeling your age today, Massani? Shit, man, that saying's older than you are!"

Maleea chuckled. "But appropriate for the location," she added diplomatically. Sighing softly, she rose to move to the table as Zaeed began placing their steaks on a plate. Having the two of them visit at the same time _was_ a good, if rare, treat, but there was a reason for that. It had been pointed out once that to have Zaeed and Jack together in the same place for more than a couple of minutes was having too much cranky all in one place. There was far too much potential for violence to break out between them.

"There," Zaeed groused, dropping the plate into the center of the table. "Feed your goddamn biotic face and enjoy it."

Maleea blinked, head tilting a questioning look towards the mercenary, but it was Jack who responded first. The sound that escaped her could only be described as a bark … but at least it was a bark of laughter. And Maleea, had she not been watching him as closely as she was for his response, might have missed the wink he gave the biotic before turning towards her. "Now, eat up! Doc says you still need to gain weight back."

Too stunned to react, Maleea sat staring at Zaeed for a long moment … until Jack threw an empty beer bottle at her. The motion out of the corner of her eye managed to get Maleea to react, catching the bottle before it hit her shoulder. "Eat!" she echoed just before tucking into her own meal. "Don't want Chakwas showing up here now, do you?"

Maleea grinned. "Why not?" she countered. "At least then I could open that bottle of brandy she sent!"

- = O = -

Later that evening as she prepared for bed, Maleea found her thoughts drifting back to those from earlier that day. Routine had her checking her private message terminal in her bedroom last thing before climbing into bed and each night, and as she did so, she made a silent prayer before pulling up the list. _Please, be there. Please!_

However, each night since her return to Mindoir, the one person whom she'd hoped to hear from had never contacted her, leaving her to wonder just what, if anything, might remain between them. Had that final battlefield decision ruined everything between them? It was sad, really. He was more than a friend in so many ways. Her best friend in others. Then again, the trouble came from her end of things because she had never really told him that, always looking to place duty before anything more personal. So in the end, she had no one to blame but herself. And at night, curled up in bed all alone, blame made for a poor sleeping partner.


	3. Blast From The Past

"Are you ready to go?"

Two sets of bright yet earnest eyes looked over at her, both heads bobbing up and down in affirmation. It took every effort of will power Maleea had to keep from laughing aloud at their sincere yet very eager reactions. This was to be their first attempt at handling the entire herd of cattle, not just their own. They'd been insisting for weeks now that they were ready. Today would be the test. Giving them each a cursory look, a last minute check on equipment and gear they had loaded into the vehicle, Maleea took a long time to evaluate their level of preparedness. It was the same sort of rundown she and her squadmates would give each other the moment before boarding the shuttle for a drop, and though this wasn't the _Normandy_, and the Reapers were now two years gone, she still gave it her complete attention.

"Right then," she told the pair with a nod while handing over a key card. "Gavin, you'll drive this time out. Shay, you get in the back and make sure we don't lose anything along the way. Those roads can be bumpy."

"Yes, ma'am!" the two boys chorused in excitement. One actually whooped for joy. They all knew passing 'inspection' with Captain Mal, as they affectionately called her, was difficult to do.

"And me?"

Maleea turned to face the third teenager, her soft voice rising above the hoopla of the moment. Lifting a hand to rub along her chin, Maleea pretended to ponder the situation carefully, though she already knew what her answer would be. "Hmm," she hummed, the teasing glint in her eyes flaring just a bit, "I don't know …." Behind the younger girl, Maleea could see the two boys trying to hide their amusement. Shauna was Shay's twin sister. More quiet and reserved than her brother, it had been Shauna who had actually decided Maleea in favor of this plan.

Months before, when one of the teachers from the colony high school had approached Mal with this plan, the former Alliance officer had nearly balked at the idea. She had a farm to run, not a babysitting service. However, after willingly giving the idea due consideration, Maleea had finally agreed to come down to the school, to talk with the class about the idea and the possibilities involved. It was then that she had started warming up to it. After all, she was one person trying to operate a rather large spread. A little bit of help wouldn't be amiss. And, if students could learn along the way, even better, right?

Though it had taken more than a few weeks to fully organize, that day had been the deciding factor for Maleea. More specifically, it had been her meeting with Shauna during that question/answer session at the end of class. The girl was quiet, reserved, completely opposite from what Maleea might have expected … but there was a fire behind her eyes that reminded Maleea of friends long gone. Of purpose and determination.

It was all she needed to see. From that point on, Maleea had been decided. During the week, the students would come out to the farm to assist Mal with the work. In exchange for their help, their 'projects' would be graded - this year it was the cattle as Maleea was still trying to grow her herd. Other opportunities would be present as well, namely showcasing their specific animals at the colony fair for competition. Additionally, any profits from selling their animals or winning awards and such at the fair, minus the base fee for the animal since Maleea was providing it, would be theirs to keep. All in all, a pretty good deal for all parties involved.

At the moment, however ….

Maleea's lips finally curving upwards into a grin, she began in a casual tone, "Actually, Shauna, I was thinking that I might put you in overall command of today's mission -"

She was cut off by a sudden shriek of an alarm coming from her omni-tool. For the briefest and most horrifying of moments, everything shifted to slow motion as the teens froze, fear flooding impossibly wide young eyes and Maleea suffered through the sensation of old, unresolved memories returning to her in a rush so intense she had to close her eyes until they passed. A heartbeat later, though, she felt everything shift back into proper place as the guise of Commander Shepard took over control with a speed and ferocity that the kids could not miss.

Cold control and calm guiding her movements now, Maleea nodded across the barn. "Go," she told them. Behind the hidden panel in the center wall was a door leading to the security and safety of the panic room that had been installed below ground and situated halfway between the house and the barn. As such, it was accessible from either location in time of emergency. "Most likely it's a false alarm and I'll be calling you in ten minutes to give you the all clear, but better safe than sorry." When they hesitated, Maleea hardened her tone just a bit. "Go. Now," she ordered, voice sharp with an edge of steel. "I will check it out. But whatever you do, get to that room and stay there until I give you the all clear. Understood?"

The kids finally broke out of their daze and nodded, Shay grasping his sister by the hand and pulling her after him and Gavin. One of the first things Maleea had trained them on since their arrival on the farm had been for situations such as this: If the alarm went off, they were to head straight to the panic room. No questions asked, no hesitations. Mindoir was still in the Attican Traverse, no matter the changes that had come about as a result of the past eighteen years, and there were still dangers … even if they now came from sources other than batarian slavers and Reapers.

Turning to exit the barn, Maleea reached for her shotgun, the new prototype that Wrex had sent to her via Liara. Barely 'out of the box,' Maleea was torn between giving it a good breaking in and the hope of not having to use it at all. She had retired from the Alliance and from the Spectres to avoid such confrontations. However, she knew it to be 'better safe than sorry,' as the saying went, and in her hands the shotgun was as much a deadly weapon as it was a security blanket of sorts. Despite her days of soldiering being long gone, it didn't mean she'd forgotten how to defend herself. With each breath, each step outside of the barn, she could feel the past returning. Overtaking her. It was an armor of sorts. Soothing. Habit. Familiar. Calming. _She_ was in control. _Commander _Maleea Shepard was in charge once again, not the sixteen year old child who had witnessed her father's murder at the hands of batarian slavers.

As Maleea strode across the open space between barn, house and the drive leading up to her home, LT and Chief came bounding up to her, taking positions at her side. Squadmates of a sort, they both had been trained on what to do insofar as recognizing certain sounds as the security alarm. They knew that their response was to remain with her, on alert until she gave them the signal otherwise. "Come on, guys," she murmured, "let's go see what's what." Though, if it was another animal tripping the alarm system, Maleea was going to give Liara a good piece of her mind on the company that had created it. This was the third time in the past year that it had gone off. The previous two times had been due to wild animals.

Today though, it didn't take long for Maleea to identify the direction from where the threat came. The sound of a vehicle making its way up the drive from the main road could be heard as it approached and instantly negated the animal theory. And despite no prior warning from Liara, Mal struggled to remind herself that this was likely just a visitor; someone who didn't know the 'proper procedure' for making a call at her homestead now that she'd returned to Mindoir.

It had taken her, Liara, Zaeed and Garrus weeks to sort out the security arrangements that would be put into place once Maleea decided to come home. This had come after weeks of arguing with her Shadow Broker friend about returning, in the first place. Broken but not bowed after the end of the war, Mal had thought to remain in service with the Alliance, or at least as a Council Spectre for years to come. But even she, after a long discussion with Dr. Chakwas, Miranda Lawson and a few other medical specialists, had to admit that the damage that had been done had been extensive. It would take her years to fully recover, especially to a level needed to continue a life as a soldier. As they'd all pointed out to her, she'd earned her rest and retirement. It was time for her to move on to the next stage of her life.

When Liara had presented Maleea with the deed to the homestead - a combination of old family lands and new - on Mindoir, Mal had been floored. For a good fifteen minutes, she'd only been able to stare in a mixture of horror and delight at the document. Sure, returning to a piece of land and taking up farming had been something she'd once considered. But that had been many years before. In more recent times, she and Liara had spoken on several occasions about what they would do after the war, after the soldiering was all done and it was time to rest. But, beyond just a simple, vague idea of 'I want to follow in my father's footsteps,' Maleea had never really given it much thought. Those old dreams to continue on the family tradition had fled upon entry into service. But with Liara's gift, to finally have something in her hands, a piece of land she could call her own … well, that was something … and it had brought those old dreams back to the forefront.

The visit with Zaeed and Garrus, though, had been a bit more. Arriving after one of Maleea's physical therapy sessions (it hadn't gone well that day and she'd been irritable and in pain), she'd been rather down. But watching her two friends go at it - this time soberly; memories of that last party on the Citadel were still clear in her mind - with their suggestions on ways to keep her and her land and everything on it safe had lightened Mal's mood considerably. Several times, she'd exchanged slightly amused glances with Liara, and both had struggled to keep from bursting out into laughter as Zaeed and Garrus argued over the best methods of protection.

But ultimately, the decision had been left up to her. Once she'd been forced to accept the fact that it had to happen in the first place. As Liara pointed out, they were doing their best to cover up the tracks so that no one would know it was Commander Maleea Shepard living on the farm. Even the locals knew her only as 'Maleea Anderson,' a small but fitting tribute to the man who had been part of the Alliance unit that had found Mal after the batarian raid and had guided her from that moment on and become something of a second father to her. The land had been purchased under a different name. The home, the equipment, the cattle - everything she needed to start the farm up had been channeled through a series of shell corporations that led back to … absolutely nowhere. Anything and everything that could possibly identify her had been scrubbed so clean that Maleea wasn't even certain she could prove her true identity ever again, even if she had to.

And then there were the security measures themselves. Garrus and Zaeed had truly outdone themselves, and later James had added his own input as well. 'New techniques,' he'd explained, claiming his time training in N school was coming to use sooner than he'd expected. Mal hadn't bothered to point out that she doubted they'd had this in mind at the time they were teaching him. She'd been too overcome by affection for the friends who had so desperately and determinedly wanted to help her.

But right this minute ….

Shotgun resting easily in both hands, ready to rise into use if necessary, Maleea stepped forward as the vehicle pulled into view in the yard. She recognized it immediately for its simplicity and commonality. In a colony known across the galaxy for its agricultural pursuits, finding a couple of hundred of such vehicles was nothing uncommon. Plain. Simple. Utilitarian. Expected.

And it told Maleea absolutely nothing of what she was about to face. Prickles of unease began to lift the hairs at the back of her neck. Lifting the shotgun a bit higher, her finger now hovering over the trigger, rounds barely audible as they moved smoothly into the chamber, Maleea called out loudly and with authority as the vehicle came to a stop, "You'd best be getting out of that vehicle nice and slow with your hands up where I can see them at all times." Gesturing LT to move to her left and Chief to her right, Maleea then took another step closer herself, drawling, "Nice and easy like."

The driver's side door to the vehicle rose then, slowly, and all the while Maleea kept her eyes and her weapon trained on whoever might be inside. No chances would be taken. Not when so much was at stake ….

Recognition, when it came, hit as strongly as a blow to her midsection. Stunned, Maleea lowered the weapon and stared in confusion as one of her best friends stepped out to face her. "Liara?"

The asari moved around the door to the vehicle, her apology clear on her face as she spoke. "Shepard."

Maleea blinked. "What …?" She'd barely started speaking again when the passenger side door opened. Glancing over, she was prepared to give Liara's companion a cursory nod of greeting knowing that the asari wouldn't bring anyone along who wasn't 'safe' to know of Shepard's whereabouts, but another surprise had her gasping aloud instead.

"Kaidan!"

Their eyes met and for the longest of moments, they simply stared at one another. "I … what are you doing here?" she asked after a struggle to break her gaze from his. It took a concerted effort to not return her gaze to him immediately. His sudden and unexpected appearance after nearly two years was triggering so many questions ….

Forcing herself to turn her attention fully on Liara, Maleea frowned, her tone a bit accusatory when she pointed out, "You're the one who insisted on the security precautions we have set up."

Liara sighed, a hand rising to press at her temple. "I know and I'm very sorry, Shepard. But I think you know that I wouldn't have broken those precautions if it wasn't important. Something has come up. We need to talk."

Maleea began to nod her agreement when she remembered two things. First, she lifted her fingers to her lips, producing a shrill whistle that was the signal for LT and Chief to stand down. Both animals visibly relaxed, moving away from the vehicle and its occupants that they had been investigating and back to Maleea's side. The second ….

Pressing a button on her omni-tool, Maleea spoke into the device. "Shay? It's Mal. All's good. False alarm." Her eyes upon the asari, Maleea saw Liara nod confirmation of that. "Go ahead and head on out to the pasture. Once you've finished with the cattle, call it a day and head on home. The rest can wait until tomorrow."

"Okay, Mal," came the teen's voice over the communications device, the relief in his tone nearly palpable.

Turning back to her friends, Maleea nodded her head towards the house. "Why don't we go inside. I'm finding I'm suddenly very curious to know what has you both showing up on my doorstep today completely unannounced and ignoring all security protocols." Her gaze met Kaidan's in passing once more. _And after such a prolonged absence_, she added silently.

-=O=-

Maleea directed her guests into the kitchen while she put away her shotgun and signaled LT and Chief into their respective areas. As had been the habit in her mother's house before her death and later continued with her father, the kitchen was the heart of the house. By far the largest of all the rooms, Maleea had fallen in love with the old fashioned design the first time she'd seen it. Open and airy, large table, many chairs, plenty of storage and counterspace … it brought back good memories and reassured her that there was plenty of time for more to come in her life.

Crossing the room, Maleea grabbed a kettle and filled it before setting it atop the stove. Only once this had been done did she glanced over at Liara who had taken a seat at the table and then Kaidan who was standing over by the wall, eyes upon the fish tank and then Mr. Wiggles as if he was greeting them. Mal couldn't help but smile at that. She'd taken so much (friendly) grief from her crew and friends over the years aboard the SR2 with the pets. Kaidan hadn't been the worst of them by a long shot (that was left as a tie between Garrus and Grunt), though he had still dished out the teasing comments quite readily. In the end, though, Maleea had come to the conclusion that he'd somehow understood her need for the companionship.

During her silent observation, she noted that he hadn't seemed to have changed much since that time. A bit more silver in his hair, perhaps. A small scar above his left eye, likely a result from injuries sustained during that last push to the beam in London. He was dressed casually today - no one should be able to pull off that look like he did! - but even if Maleea hadn't known beforehand he was a marine, she'd probably have guessed. Khaki pants in a style similar to Alliance BDUs, black boots and a turtleneck that seemed to enhance the sharpness of his features, Maleea could still see the potential for leathality even in the graceful way he simply stood there.

Her eyes focusing too long in one place, Maleea felt a blush heat her cheeks when Kaidan turned to face her a few moments later, just before he took a seat. Thankfully, she was saved when the kettle began to signal the water was ready. Turning, she poured the water into the cups. Only then and very carefully did she lift them in her hands and make her way across the room to join the others at the table. As she seated herself, she commented, "So … I'm guessing this is more than just social call?"

Liara exchanged a quick look with Kaidan before facing Maleea. "Yes," she agreed.

The seriousness of Liara's tone was not lost on Maleea. True, since taking over as the Shadow Broker, her friend had matured into someone much more self-assured and confident in her abilities. Alongside that, though, had come the parallel traits of determination and decisiveness that had honed the asari, still rather young for all of her responsibilities, into someone who was both genuine and no-nonsense at the same time. Maleea had, upon occasion, taken to trying to coax the more innocent and carefree person back out. Those attempts were usually rewarded with a blush, a laugh and Liara's promise to try to not be so much of a 'stuffed shirt' all the time.

Today though, when Liara began speaking, she made it clear from the outset that this was not to be one of those times. "Shepard … _Maleea_, we have every reason to believe that your life might be in danger."

Maleea sat back in her chair, eyes widening just a bit at both the bluntness with which she spoke and the content of her friend's words. After a moment, she turned her gaze upon Kaidan. Calm. Cool. Solid. Determined. The look in his eyes just then was one that Mal knew no sane person would ever want to encounter, and that was _before_ anyone found out he was one of the strongest and deadliest biotics in the galaxy.

"We?" she echoed.

Kaidan and Liara both nodded. "You know I've been monitoring things for you," Liara continued, her fingers playing around the edges of her mug. "Monitoring … that hardly sounds the appropriate term."

"And yet, it's exactly what you've done," Maleea reminded her. Leaning forward, she reached out and placed a hand over the one Liara had taken to thrumming her fingertips on the table. "I probably haven't been as appreciative of what you've been doing for me as I should have -"

Gasping, Liara pulled back, a horrified expression crossing her features. "What? No! Oh, Shepard, no, I wasn't complaining!" she insisted. "All I meant was … well …."

Maleea smiled gently at her friend. "Liara, relax, okay? I wasn't suggesting you were complaining. I was only saying that you've done so much to help me over the past couple of years … and I've done so very little by way of thanking you for that. Remember, I've seen you in action," she accompanied this statement with a small wink. "I know just what the Shadow Broker is capable of."

A light blush stained Liara's cheeks, but she shook her head insistently. "No, Shepard," she replied with a surreptitious glance over at Kaidan, "you really don't owe me a thing. It's I who owe you. Which … sort of brings me back around to the point I was trying to make." Sighing, Liara took a sip of the drink. "This … this threat. It's … Oh, how do I even begin to put it into words?"

Maleea, having learned to value the source of information, suggested, "Why don't you begin by telling me _where_ the information is from? Or, as much as you can. That might help?"

Again, she quietly observed Kaidan and Liara exchanging a look. Something was clearly going on there. What exactly, she didn't know just yet, but she was beginning to suspect that it might be important.

"It's not any one thing," Liara explained. "Or something as overtly obvious as such. Inquiries being made into the fate of Commander Shepard. A casual mention that the 'savior of the galaxy' should be showing up to Alliance functions for the second anniversary of the defeat of the Reapers …."

Maleea's eyes closed and she sighed. "Dammit," she muttered. "I told Hackett I wasn't going."

"Admiral Hackett is ready to send a personal escort to see that you show up," Liara pointed out. "Shepard, you can't keep avoiding this."

Frowning, Maleea rose suddenly, her chair tilting wildly with the unexpectedness of her action. Grasping it before it could fall, she righted it and turned away to cross the room. She needed something other than tea to serve them. Surely she had some cookies left after Jack's visit the other night?

"Shepard, you need to go."

Maleea froze. For the first time since his arrival, Kaidan spoke, and his voice was everything she'd remembered. Smooth, controlled, solid. The natural warmth and huskiness of it sent shivers through her, reminding her just how long it had been since they'd last spoken to one another. Reminding her of other things, as well.

Locating the cookies, she grabbed the container and carried it back to the table, setting it in the center of the table as she sat back down. "I don't," she insisted, her eyes narrowing in on him. "I … can't."

Their eyes held for a very long moment, and Maleea saw him trying to read her in return. She knew the moment he thought he had; he sighed, a look of sorrow crossing his features. "Mal," he murmured, using the shortened and most affectionate of her nicknames, "refusing to attend is not going to bring him back."

"I'm not a masochist, Kaidan," she reminded him, though she had to wonder if some of the decisions she'd made over the years had actually proved the opposite. "I can't go back there. Not yet. It's too … soon."

"Do you honestly think Anderson would want you to stay away from the Citadel because you feared seeing his ghost?" he challenged.

Maleea's eyes darkened, narrowing in a more threatening manner. "Yes."

"Look," Liara broke in, "we've gone off track. I was not intending to bring the issue itself up. What I was trying to get you to see is that there are all sorts of rumors and information out there floating around. Plenty of it is about you. We know that, of course, because some of it has been generated by us to use as red herrings so that we can tell the real from the fabricated."

Still stinging slightly from Kaidan's words, Mal turned her attention back over to Liara again. "Red herrings?" she echoed. "My, you _have_ been busy."

Liara chuckled. "Nature of the beast," she replied. "But my point is that there are a lot of bits and pieces of information out there, floating around, being exchanged … and all of it about you."

Maleea sighed. "And how is this different than at any other time?" she countered. Memories of infiltration and betrayal, of destruction from within, or at least nearly within returned along with a face that was her own and yet not ….

"Actions are now being taken as well," Liara informed her. "Again, like the 'talk,' it's happening in small ways. Small ways that, added together, lead up to much larger concerns."

Maleea sighed, feeling a light tremor shake through her shoulders. It sounded so similar, and yet she knew it wasn't possible. Her clone was dead. Brooks, the mastermind behind it all, was dead. But still …. "Look, Liara -"

Kaidan leaned forward, eyes as intense as Maleea had ever seen them before. "A small arms dealer makes a seemingly small purchase of weapons for a relatively unknown client. Nothing fancy, nothing that might trigger any alarms. That client takes possession and holds on to the weapons cache for a length of time sufficient enough that he knows he will remain under the radar. Only then does he pass the weapons off to someone else who follows a similar process before passing them on to someone else. End result, you have three or four small arms dealers in various locations around the galaxy making seemingly small and irrelevant purchases, all of which remain undetected ... until it becomes known that all of their weapons end up in the possession of one person. One person who, according to Liara, has also been buying up information that appears to be pieces of a puzzle in an attempt to narrow down your current location."

Maleea's eyes widened as Kaidan spoke. Okay, maybe they had a point. "Who?" she asked nearly breathlessly.

He shook his head as he sat back, clearly concerned. "We don't know yet."

There it was again. "We?" she repeated, her earlier question coming back.

"Kaidan has been helping me out on and off since the end of the war," Liara explained. "In his duties for the Council, he's come across several very valuable pieces of information. He was actually the first one to bring this potential threat to my attention."

Maleea sighed. She realized then that she should have figured it out long before now. Kaidan hadn't been in touch because he'd been busy. Back on duty. Soldier. Spectre. Likely still angry with her for her decision in London, but …. "No doubt," she returned. Sighing again, she took a long pull from her mug of tea. "Has it occurred to you both that I'm quite capable of defending myself if anything should -"

"No."

That had Maleea blinking. Not because it was a denial regarding her abilities to defend herself, but rather because they'd both spoken in unison. Quite forcefully, too. "Shepard," Liara told her, "I'm fully up to date on the progress of your recovery from Miranda and Dr. Chakwas. You're not near fully healed just yet."

Okay, now _that_ hit a sore spot. Especially since, the last time she'd checked in with the good doctor, Chakwas had insisted her recovery was moving along quite well. "I'm fully capable of defending myself and my home," Maleea insisted, irritation beginning to rise now. She threw an arm in the direction of the front of the house, on the other side of the wall from where she'd met them in the yard. "Or did you not notice -"

"We noticed," Kaidan assured her, "and we're not denying your abilities. I don't think you fully appreciate what you're up against here, Shepard."

Crossing her arms, she leaned back in her seat again. It was either that or jump up and storm around the kitchen. For now, she decided to try to keep calm, even though deep inside she wanted to yell and scream and take it out on someone or something. "Who?" she demanded, more forcefully this time and repeating her earlier question.

"That's just it," Liara told her. "We don't know. We know the arms are leading back to one person - all trails are leading there, but it's a difficult one to follow and we've not yet identified them." She broke off for a moment, another shared look with Kaidan that had Maleea feeling on edge for some reason. Why was she dreading what her friend was going to say next? "That's why we've gone ahead and made arrangements to have someone stay with you for a while. To help you out until we can find out more."

"To have your back," Kaidan added when Maleea sat forward, her mouth opening to protest vehemently. His words, well chosen, had the power to stop her in her tracks. _I've got your back, Commander._ How could she argue with that? Had he not done the same aboard the _Normandy_? Then again, was this situation really as bad as all that? "Guys, these aren't Reapers, you know."

"No, but it does appear to be someone determined to find you. Someone willing to do anything, it seems, to get to you, including purchase enough weapons to arm a small army which probably is hinting that it's someone who at the very least is holding a huge grudge against you," Liara pointed out. "But given that is all we know, until we can identify who that someone is and eliminate the problem, you're going to have a bodyguard."

Sighing, Maleea shook her head. "Liara …."

But Liara cut her off again. "Do you honestly think the reason so many of us have come by so frequently since you moved back here has been simply for personal reasons?" she countered.

In all honesty, Maleea could admit curiosity in that regard. She couldn't deny that she'd wondered at times. On average of once or twice a month for almost a year now she'd been opening her doors to her friends. It had struck her odd at first, though early on it had been more understandable. Now however …. "I'm assuming you're not just saying that to deflate my ego completely?" she mused dryly.

"Of course not!" Liara insisted. "You know as well as I do that, if the threats were not an issue, we would have been here anyway!"

Maleea dared a quick glance over at Kaidan. She thought she could detect the slightest hint of a smirk on his lips at that exchange. Score one minor victory in all of this mess. At least it was something. Then another thought occurred to her. "So … Jack and Zaeed the other night?"

"Yes?"

"Increasing numbers of visitors because of an increased threat?" Maleea asked.

"Actually," Liara admitted a bit sheepishly, "more of a situation where both were free and I got tired of them fighting over who was going to go."

Maleea chuckled. Yeah, she could see that. Like oil and water, Jack and Zaeed didn't mix well … unless they were with Maleea.

Sighing, Mal leaned forward, head falling into her hands as she rubbed them over her face. "So," she managed after a long moment, "what's the plan then?"

"I'm staying."

Hands lowering, Maleea lifted her gaze to meet Kaidan's again. "Thought you were busy?" she murmured. "Playing bodyguard to me I'm sure isn't on the Alliance or Council list of approved assignments."

Kaidan's smirk widened. "Perhaps, but protecting the 'savior of the galaxy' and the 'first human Spectre' might be," he returned easily. "Besides, we once made a pretty good team, as I recall."

She smiled. "That we did," she agreed.

"And," he added as further incentive, "who else would know how to help out around here?"

Maleea chuckled openly now. "There's a bit of a difference between an orchard and a farm, Kaidan," she pointed out. "Unless, of course, you plan to herd cattle by using your biotics?"

Kaidan laughed. "Now, there's an idea," he retorted easily and with a grin and suddenly, Maleea had an image of him using lift to get some of them into their pens at night. She also found herself easily falling back into that state of comfortable companionability she and Kaidan had found back during the war years.

"More assistance will come along later as their current assignments end and their time is freed up," Liara assured her. "But for now …."

Rising to her feet, Maleea began moving around the kitchen, pacing almost. It was an occupational hazard, really. Prowling about allowed her to think better. LT and Chief must have heard her, though, because they both came sauntering into the room soon after, plunking down over near their food dishes. From there, they could stay out of the way and keep an eye on her at the same time because, like the _Normandy_ crew before them, they were used to this sort of behavior.

The sound of a chair scraping against the floor behind her startled Maleea back to the present after a few minutes. "I'll just go get my things from the truck," Kaidan murmured, effectively excusing himself from the discussion.

Sighing, Maleea nodded. What else could she do?

"Shepard …?" Mal turned towards Liara. "I'm sorry if you find this inconvenient, but -"

Maleea waved her off. "You're right," she admitted reluctantly. "I can't argue with it. I'm a bit concerned that I'm only finding out about threats against me _now_ after all this time, but I suppose I can understand why you didn't say anything."

"Dr. Chakwas and Miranda both agreed that we shouldn't worry you with it unless it was absolutely necessary," Liara explained as she rose and crossed to her friend.

Maleea bit her lip. "It's that bad?"

Liara nodded. "It is," she replied solemnly. Reaching out, she placed a comforting hand on Maleea's arm. "And so were your injuries, don't forget."

Maleea couldn't keep from rolling her eyes. "Liara -"

"No, Shepard. You know as well as I do that you've been pushing too hard. Not too badly so you'd notice beyond some severe aches and pains perhaps, but you have. Let Kaidan help. Like you are your students. Take advantage of the opportunity and -"

"We'll see," was all that Maleea was willing to promise at this point.

"Fair enough," Liara agreed after a moment.

Maleea rose and led the way back into the front of the house when she heard the door opening again. Kaidan entered, his standard issue military duffle hanging over his shoulder as he stood just inside the doorway. Maleea glanced over at Liara again. "You're not staying?" she asked softly.

Liara shook her head. "Too much work to do," she replied. "Someone has to track down this person, right?"

Maleea gave her friend a quick hug. "Thanks, Blue," she murmured.

"I'll be in touch," Liara promised as she stepped back. She hesitated a moment, hands touching Maleea's a brief moment longer than was probably necessary before she pulled away completely, though. "Stay safe, Shepard."

Maleea flashed the asari a quick grin. "Hey, have _some_ faith in me, please!"

Liara turned away, heading towards the door. Maleea, about to turn towards Kaidan and offer to give him the 'grand tour' of the house, hesitated when she saw him exchanging one last, lingering look with the asari. Like the previous ones, there was something more there; a message certainly, but one with more than a simple meaning. One in which only they could understand the language. One of which Maleea herself was not a part. In that heartbeat of recognition, Maleea recalled Ashley's words to her down in the shuttle bay of the SR1. _Scuttlebutt says he's already sweet on someone …._ Sighing, Maleea turned away. No wonder he'd stayed away. Ashley hadn't ever had the opportunity to tell Maleea who that someone had been, though Mal thought she had it figured out.

Returning into the kitchen, she busied herself with cleaning up, setting the mugs into the sink to be dealt with later before taking the cookies and replacing them in the pantry, safely away until Jack's next visit.

"Shepard?"

Maleea hesitated for a moment before turning at the sound of Kaidan's voice. Brushing her hands off against her pants, she offered him a semblance of a smile. "Why don't we go find you a room, hmm?"

Crossing the kitchen, she paused only when he reached out to stop her with a hand to her arm. "You okay?" he asked. "I know this is a bit of a surprise and all, but …."

Maleea glanced up at him. "It is that," she agreed, "and I'm sure you can imagine just how little I like the thought of someone _having_ to be here as a bodyguard."

He chuckled. "You never did like anyone taking on your battles for you."

Her smiled was less forced this time. "Exactly," she agreed. "Anyway, come on. Let me show you around the place."

The tour, such as it was, took less than fifteen minutes. Since he'd seen the front room and the kitchen, she ducked down the small hall off the kitchen to show him the extra room that, although it contained a bed on one side, it was the bookshelf and desk with state of the art communications equipment that made it more office than bedroom. Though he said nothing about it, she saw that he did take note of the model collection (or what there was of it in this particular room), the one that she'd had aboard the SR2 and now was hanging on the wall over the bookcase, as well as the small weapons case in the far corner. From there, she led him upstairs, showed him the few extra rooms up there, finally ending with Maleea opening the door to the guest room across the hall from her own. "It's not anything so grand as Anderson's apartment on the Citadel, but it'll do," she told him. She flashed him a teasing grin. "Though, I do miss the piano and the hot tub."

Chuckling, Kaidan set his bag on the bed and walked over to look out the windows. "I can imagine," he agreed. "This is fine, though. Different, but more … home-like, if that makes sense." He turned to face her after peering out the windows. "Nice view."

Maleea snorted softly in amusement. "Sure," she agreed, "if you don't mind looking at the barn."

His smile was real enough, but she could see that he was all business when he asked, "Will you show me the rest of it? The farm, that is."

Maleea nodded. Of course he'd want to see it all if he was going to be protecting her. He'd have to know all the ways from which direction danger could approach. "Tomorrow," she promised. "Anyway, I'll just … go start dinner. Feel free to make yourself at home."

She was halfway out the door when he finally replied. "Thanks. And, Shepard?" She turned back to face him. "It's good to see you after all this time."

Maleea nodded again. "You, too, Kaidan."

It was only as she was entering the kitchen some minutes later that Maleea realized he'd called her 'Shepard' and not 'Mal' or 'Maleea' like he had earlier. During their years together aboard the _Normandy_, once the initial ice-breaking period was over, he'd often referred to her as Shepard in casual conversation. It had been about as informal as he'd allowed himself to be around her. The others had been the same. Once in a very long while, he'd call her by her given name, but the last time that had happened had been … _Around the time of the clone_, she realized. They'd been at the casino, trying to blend in while working a covert operation. Pretending to be a couple. _Pretending. _How much more awkward could you get than that?

Footsteps behind her had Maleea glancing over her shoulder to find Kaidan entering the kitchen. "How can I help?" he offered.

Maleea's brow raised. "Well, I've got this under control," she gestured to the food she had before her she was preparing. "How about a beer? There's some in the fridge."

She was well under way slicing up vegetables once again when he brought over a bottle. The hissing of air escaping as he twisted the lid caught her attention. "Thanks," she murmured as he set the bottle within arm's reach.

"Not a problem," he murmured before taking a sip of his own.

The sound he made in reaction had Maleea looking back up at him a moment later, a small smirk on her lips. "Not what you were expecting?" she challenged.

Kaidan eyed the bottle, examining the label a bit more closely. "Local, I see," he mused.

She nodded. "Since the devastation of the war, well, they've tried to produce what they can for themselves. Cheaper for us, anyway." She reached over for her bottle and took a long pull. She was now used to the unique taste and didn't wince at all. "And, gives the local farmers a wider selection in what they can produce." Setting the bottle aside again, she nodded towards the main part of the house. "Feel free to look around while I work on this. Seriously, I've got it under control."

"Are you sure about that?" he asked. "I seem to recall an incident or two in the mess that -"

"I've survived for over a year here on my own without starving or poisoning myself, Alenko," she bantered back while giving him a look that dared him to argue further.

He raised his arms in surrender, she noted, and wondered if he would always be this cooperative when it came to disagreements. She doubted it, and therefore tucked this one away to savor later. "I'll call you when it's ready." With a last nod of agreement, Maleea watched as he exited the room, leaving her the time to prepare dinner and consider the turn of events that her life had taken in the past couple of hours. She suspected she was going to need a long time to consider it fully.


	4. Uneasy Truce

With bottle in hand, Kaidan made his way through the front of the house in a leisurely manner. It was clear to him that Maleea was uneasy with his sudden and unexpected presence, and in all honesty, he found he couldn't blame her one bit. It had been a long time since they'd last seen each other. And that time, well … things hadn't exactly gone as planned, had they? That final, lingering look they'd exchanged, the battle raging around them, Kaidan had felt fear slice through him so painfully at the time, it had felt like a physical blow to his chest. He'd witnessed a resoluteness there, behind green eyes with which he'd become so familiar. A steadfast determination to see the war through to its bitter end, no matter the cost. A dedication to give all that she had to the cause - and more - if necessary. But what had bothered him most wasn't that. No, what concerned him was that, after everything they'd been through together - the good, the bad and everything in between - after having her exit and then return back into his life several times over the years, in the end, Shepard had done as she always had: left him behind and fought ahead on her own. Again.

The sensible, logical part of his brain realized both then and now that he'd been physically unable to finish the run to the beam. After the injuries he'd sustained due to the Mako that had nearly crushed him, Maleea had been quite right to leave him behind, to evac him onto the _Normandy_ with the rest of the crew and then head on by herself. They were trained soldiers; duty came first. The mission. The objective. Always. That was as it should be.

But despite the logic, those arguments hadn't satisfied the irrational part of his brain - the part that had come to the conclusion all too late in the game that, to him at least, she wasn't _just_ his commander, his friend, his confidante. She was so much more than that for him. However, he'd never worked up the courage to tell her. He'd kept it close, buried beneath regs and, now that he'd had time to think on it, fears of a repetition of his past. Though he had no worries that Maleea would call him a 'monster' as Rahna had, a denial from her would be much more devastating to his heart. And ultimately, he knew the fault to be exclusively his own.

Part of the hesitation had stemmed from the remnants of Horizon. He'd realized it almost from the moment he'd turned and walked away from her that day. The fact that he'd all but destroyed any possible chance of a relationship with her beyond that which could be found between an officer and subordinate - or in their case, between officers of equal rank. Kaidan had tried to extend an olive branch afterwards, once he'd found a way to deal with most of the shame and guilt he carried away from the incident, and after weeks and months, it finally seemed they could, at least, salvage the friendship they'd once shared. But despite all of that, he hadn't been able to shake the feeling that maybe he'd waited just a little too long, that it was more a situation of, too much too late.

That wasn't to say there hadn't been positive signs along the way. Shortly after he'd ended up in Huerta, when she'd come for a visit after he'd contacted her, letting her know he was recovering, he'd sensed progress. Opportunity. They'd both come away from that meeting agreeing that they wanted to put Horizon behind them; and just for a moment, he'd found hope ….

Which had shattered the minute Cerberus arrived on the Citadel. Again. _Why did it always have to be Cerberus?_ The coup attempt against the Council had occurred instead, and for one long and very frightening moment, they'd ended up on opposite sides of a gun barrel from the other. God, he still occasionally had nightmares about _that_ incident. All overly exaggerated and totally misrepresenting events that had really followed, of course. However, still frightening enough to take his breath away, leaving him waking up in a drenching sweat, breathing labored, eyes unfocused and wild as he searched the darkness to make sure he didn't carry blood on his hands. Always, she was at the other end of his pistol, stubbornly refusing to back down, his finger on the trigger as they both took aim and shot at the same time ….

Kaidan now stepped outside through the front door. He'd noticed the wrap around porch on the walk inside earlier, and decided now might be a good time to investigate it. To get outside, some fresh air; clear his head, his heart, his mind ...

_Mindoir_. The name had echoed through his head from the moment that Liara had finally given in and told him of Maleea's location after the war. _Shepard's gone home to face her ghosts_, Liara had explained. At the time, Kaidan had wondered if that had included ghosts from her career, as well as her childhood.

After the war had finished, once the _Normandy_ had returned from weeks, months away after being bounced around the galaxy and crash landing on an uninhabited planet, they'd all arrived home relatively safe and sound to hear that Shepard had survived that final battle - _barely_. Though horrified by the extent of her injuries, Kaidan had been thrilled that she had lived 'to fight another day,' so the saying went. Or not. As extensive as her injuries had been, Chakwas had pulled him aside almost immediately to point out the truth of things. He, of all people, would understand the full effect of Shepard's injuries and that a future as a soldier and Spectre would likely not be possible. Even with Miranda's guiding hand and technological advances, Shepard's future would now lay somewhere other than as a peacemaker.

But, the war was over and Shepard was alive. Those two things elated Kaidan to indescribable levels. Now, _NOW_ he would have the chance to maybe sit down and talk with her about things, about how their future might play out, about … them. Find out if she even held any interest in an old soldier like him. See if maybe there was something more than just friendship between them. Upon occasion and dating back as far as his time on the SR1, he'd thought he'd detected some sort of interest on her part. A certain look in her eyes. A twinkle of a smile. The way she'd side glance him whenever they were together, whether on duty or off. The exact angle as her lips tilted into a grin, just a hint of interest and appreciation in their curve. He'd almost been bold enough to broach the subject back then. _Almost_. Hell, Ashley had nearly flattened him when she'd found out he hadn't said anything to the commander yet when they were on their way to Virmire. She'd threatened to use physical force if necessary to get him to approach Maleea afterwards ….

But, of course, that had never happened.

Following the porch around to the side of the house, Kaidan took another long pull from the bottle as he allowed his thoughts to drift back and remember. Chief Ashley Madeleine Williams. So … vibrant. Alive. Outgoing. Unafraid of living life on her terms. She'd had such a burden to overcome in her lifetime with her family's history … and he'd admired her for her efforts. Though stubborn to a fault at times, she'd had such a fiery spirit …. Kaidan lifted a hand to rub at the niggling throb that was beginning behind his temple. Chuckling to himself, he realized that she'd likely have his hide at that moment for being so melancholic about her, too.

-=O=-

_"You've got to tell her, LT!"_

_Kaidan sighed. "And just why would I do that?" he countered. "She's shown no signs of -"_

_Ash reached over and grabbed him by the front of his uniform, pulling him close, right up into her face. "How will she ever know if you don't tell her?" she challenged. "She is the commanding officer, of course she'd hold back! Do you honestly think she'd want to possibly ruin your career by taking a chance, by not knowing for SURE first? She's not that selfish, you know!"_

_"And that's the point," Kaidan argued. "There's regs against this for a reason, Chief. I -"_

_"I call bullshit."_

_"What?"_

_"You heard me. Look, from the little I know about her and her background, she's got good reason to hold back. Add into that she's got to be one of the most dedicated officers I've ever met! I mean, have you ever met any other officer who works almost as many hours off duty as well as on?"_

_"I can think of a couple," Kaidan pointed out._

_"Gahhhh!" Ash released her hold on him, hands flying around in the air between them in frustration. "I swear, I'll give you until after this mission to tell her. If you don't, I'm going to tell her myself!"_

_Kaidan was horrified at first. Frozen, he barely managed, "You … wouldn't!"_

_"The hell I wouldn't! Seriously, there are plenty of reasons of why you two should be together … and only one why you shouldn't. And that one is a lame ass reason that the rest of us wouldn't care about anyway."_

_"But it's there for a reason," he reminded her. "And I'm not just going to blatantly ignore it to -"_

_Joker's voice came over the systems then, announcing that they were nearing Virmire. Turning to walk away, Ashley told him while pointing a finger into his chest, "You tell her, LT, or I will. End of story. Now, who do you think it would be better for her to hear it from, hmm?" And without another word, Ash entered the lift and began the descent to the shuttle bay, leaving Kaidan standing there flustered and yet somehow encouraged by her words…._

-=O=-

The sound of an opening door nearby pulled Kaidan from his memories, and by the time he turned, he felt more or less composed. Glancing around Maleea, he noticed her lack of companionship. "Where are the … dogs?"

Maleea smiled. "Inside," she replied. "They'll be here in a heartbeat if necessary." She gave him a quick side glance. "But I think they know who the alpha is around here." Kaidan's brow lifted; Maleea snorted softly. "I meant me," she clarified.

Chuckling, Kaidan turned to look back out over the expanse of the yard. "It really is a nice place here," he murmured when she moved beside him. She turned, leaning a hip against the railing, her eyes drifting out over the landscape as his had. He even (and this might have been the old, romantic side of him indulging himself) imagined he heard her sighing softly.

"It's not bad," she agreed quietly but with another smile crossing her lips. "I have to admit, I was more than a little stunned when Liara gave me the deed to this place. It … isn't quite what I'd expected. Or remembered."

Kaidan's brow lifted. "Oh? What _were_ you expecting?"

She flashed him a grin that Kaidan found he couldn't help but return. "Something smaller!" she replied with a laugh. "Actually, to be completely honest, I wasn't quite sure what to expect. Given everything that's happened here over the years …."

"Hmm." Kaidan turned back to look out over the scene before him. "I seem to recall you mentioning something when we went to Eden Prime," he murmured. "That last time, not the first. Something about how even though the colony was rebuilt, it wasn't the same. I think based off of that, I figured you wouldn't ever return here."

Maleea shifted awkwardly, her movement drawing Kaidan's gaze immediately. Dr. Chakwas and Miranda both had briefed him before he'd come, updating him completely on her medical progress. And while their warnings hadn't implied any immediate concerns, he knew all too well that other factors could come into play. The movement itself had been awkward, jerky, and possibly indicative that some injury or another might be bothering her. Then again, he knew Maleea quite well, he thought, and understood that she would have at the very least been embarrassed and at worst have her pride injured if he were to offer her assistance without her asking for it. Strong. Solid. Stubborn. Independent. That was Commander Maleea Shepard.

But she didn't ask for assistance, and it took just a moment longer to realize that the awkwardness had been more due to him having made that connection than anything else. Turning to stare out over the landscape, she explained, "When I woke up in the hospital, I think I knew, even before Miranda and Karin told me, that my soldiering days were over."

Kaidan nodded, though inside he was sighing. She'd been in a coma for nearly five months by the time she awoke. The _Normandy_ had returned the month before that. After his initial visit, after seeing what had become of her, after toying around with a few ideas of his own regarding retirement or what his place in the galaxy now might be, he'd had a realization: No matter what happened, or what path his life took, he wanted her to be in it some way or another. So, when Admiral Hackett had approached him, asking his intentions for the future, Kaidan had found himself hedging. It was too soon to tell. Shepard was still unconscious. He desperately wanted to talk with her first, see if the things he had been thinking would even be reasonable to consider, but the Admiral wasn't going to give him that chance.

And so, he'd agreed to stay within the ranks. Sort of. Realizing his unique skillset offered him the chance at several possibilities, he had chosen one that, he hoped, might allow him to set his own schedule as it were. Teaching his students had been one thing, but actively taking part in such missions now, and there had been a surprisingly great need for them after the war, well … Kaidan could admit to having been surprised at just how it had turned out. Where he had hoped that it might allow him time to be around Maleea more, he found instead that it was requiring much more of his time. Then again, it had been his efforts to that end that had identified the beginnings of a threat to Maleea's life in the first place.

"Is that such a bad thing?" he asked. "Don't get me wrong, you're a hell of a soldier, even without having saved the galaxy and all."

Kaidan was only slightly surprised when she chuckled. "It's okay, Kaidan," she murmured. "I've resigned myself to the fact I won't ever be running across battlefields or fighting my way through enemy lines again." She sighed and turned to rest her arms against the railing. "And no, this isn't such a bad thing to come back to." She made a sweeping motion with her hand holding her beer, inclusive of the yard, the buildings and the land beyond. "I'm 'finding my roots,'" she announced with a half grin and a side glance up at him.

Kaidan chuckled softly too, for a moment. "Nurturing the land can be a healing thing," he pointed out. The moment he said it, he began to wonder if she would notice the opportunity he was presenting her. It wouldn't surprise him in the least if -

"As it did for you?" she countered, answering his question. "After BAaT?"

Kaidan bowed his head towards her. "You always were able to connect the dots so quickly," he acknowledged.

He watched her shrug. "I took an interest in my people," she told him. "And I remember things. Most of the time," she added with a broad wink in his direction. "It's not so difficult to put them together when necessary."

"Hmm. But yeah," he finally agreed, "working the orchard with mom and dad after the debacle that was Brain Camp did help."

She straightened then, turning to her former position, hip leaning heavily against the railing. "This is helping, too," she admitted. "So, tell me," she continued a moment later, her eyes drifting up to meet his, "you know what I've been up to for the past two years. What have you been doing?"

Kaidan chuckled. "Still as straightforward as ever, I see," he teased.

Maleea grinned. "It has its uses," she replied. "Seriously, though. I'd have figured you would have gone home, met someone special and settled down by now. Maybe have a kid or two?" She shook her head in bemusement. "It sounds more like you're still roaming across the galaxy."

Kaidan felt a sharp pain twist at his heart, but when he spoke a moment later, he managed to keep his voice even enough. "Duty called, you know?" he returned. "My spectre status is currently … on hiatus," he admitted, "but when Admiral Hackett asked, what else could I do?"

Maleea smiled. "You didn't _have_ to go back, Kaidan," she reminded him. "After all you've done, no one would have had issue if you'd decided to walk away, once and for all."

"Says you," he replied automatically. He'd made the Alliance his career. It wasn't in him not to answer the call. Even if he would have preferred certain things had turned out … differently.

"Whatever you say, Mr. Integrity," she bantered right back. They both laughed at that.

"Actually, I have sort of been looking for someone I met a while back," he finally admitted as the laughter faded away. "During my downtime." He saw her eyes lighten with curiosity. "What?"

Grinning widely, Mal nudging his shoulder just a bit with her hand. "You! Being so secretive! Tell me!"

It was interesting, Kaidan thought, to see her so animated about this. So different than any other time during the years he'd known her. "Well … there's not much to tell," he replied, hand rising to rub at his chin in a thoughtful manner. "Like I said, I had other duties at the time. More pressing matters. When I did have downtime, there wasn't a whole lot to go on."

"What's she like then?" Maleea apparently wasn't going to be swayed from her line of thought.

Kaidan raised a brow at her before taking another drink. "What is this, an inquisition?" he asked.

"Fine, fine," she countered easily. "Then at least tell me what it is about her that you like. What first caught your attention about her?" She paused, considered, then glanced up at his face. "Or is it a he?" she mused. Kaidan blinked, but she continued on before he could make any comment one way or the other. "Well, whatever the case, whoever it is, _tell me!_"

Kaidan couldn't keep from rolling his eyes now. Surely he could get away with mentioning a few things without giving away his true feelings, right? This was such a rare side of Shepard to see, he hated the thought of pushing it away. He'd find a way to humor her, and to keep the truth to himself for now. He hoped.

"It was her voice," he replied after a moment, acknowledging the accuracy of Maleea's first line of inquiry. But along with that short statement, a memory returned with a strength that nearly felled him. The first time he'd seen her, _heard_ her, greeting Anderson as she'd boarded the _Normandy_ and took up her duties as XO.

-=O=-

_Kaidan glanced down the row, noting the exact angles that the marines were standing, who would need reprimanding later for not being precise enough about their posture. It was as he was turning to face forward again that he heard it for the first time._

_Booted steps, firm and solid against the ship's decking, came to a halt just behind the edge of his peripheral vision, slightly around the corner from his position. Out of the corner of his eye, still facing forward, Kaidan could only see Anderson. _

_"Permission to come aboard, sir?"_

_He noticed the smooth and gentle drawl of her voice first. It reminded him of sunshine for some reason. Of warmth. And yet there was a hint of something hidden as well. Something that warned him there was a core of solid steel just beneath the surface._

_"Permission granted," Anderson replied. Kaidan could see the man salute then reach for the newcomer's hand. "Welcome aboard, Shepard."_

_"Thank you, sir."_

_The hint of movement became something more, and Kaidan straightened, calling out, "Ten hut!" as his hand rose in salute. Several more followed suit seconds later._

_He'd read her personnel file before she'd arrived and, of course, committed it to memory. Anderson had given it to him though he hadn't had to. Had it been intended more as a warning? So that someone would have an idea of who and what their new XO was? Kaidan wasn't certain he'd ever understood the reason, though it had been appreciated. Not only had it given him an inside look into who Shepard was, but her service record, at least the parts of it that hadn't been redacted due to security clearance issues, had enabled him to prepare an appropriate welcome. _

_Their eyes met as their arms began to lower, and in that moment Kaidan understood that there was more behind Commander Maleea Shepard than a file filled with partial reports and lists of facts. There was a warmth there that matched the voice, a twinkling that hinted at a wicked sense of humor and a vibrancy that floated between them unlike any other Kaidan had ever met before. _

_"And you are?" she asked._

_"Staff Lieutenant Alenko, Commander."_

_Her lips quirked at the corners just a bit, but Kaidan couldn't understand why. "At ease, Lieutenant," she murmured before turning towards the others. Two rows of five marines each; she made a quick inspection, nodding approval. Though it was Anderson calling her attention away a moment later, offering to show her around the Normandy, Kaidan noticed her eyes lingered on his for just a moment longer before she turned away._

-=O=-

"Strong, sure and confident, and a beautiful, rich tone." He blinked upon realizing how that sounded and gave her a slightly abashed look. "Sorry. That must sound ridiculous."

Maleea chuckled softly. "Why be sorry?" she asked in return. "She caught your attention, so she must be interesting, right? Have you managed to track her down yet?"

"It's been difficult," he hedged. "With the war and everything after …." He allowed his voice to trail off. It wasn't exactly a lie, he told himself. So many peoples' lives had been disrupted one way or another because of the Reapers. Repairs to the damaged mass relay system itself had taken nearly a full year to complete.

"But …?"

Kaidan sighed, but he couldn't help a small smile. Some things hadn't changed, he supposed. Of course, she wasn't going to let this go until satisfied. "I … might have a lead," he told her after a moment. "Nothing I can do about it right now, but … it's being looked into for me." Lord, he hoped she would stop with this soon. If she didn't, he was going to slip up. "What about you, though?" he countered, hoping to turn the tide away from him and onto her for a while. Maybe then she would let it go. For now, anyway. "Have you found 'someone special' yet?"

-=O=-

Maleea nearly choked on the sip of beer she'd been downing as he spoke. "Me?" she breathed through wheezes and coughs. "When am I going to have the time for that out here?"

He flashed her a wicked grin, though he shrugged his shoulders and affected an innocent stance. Maleea had no doubts he was paying her back for her own line of questioning. "Oh, I don't know … wondered if maybe you'd fallen for a doctor at the hospital or one of the orderlies. For all I know you had some soldier you were seeing on the side and just never told any of us about it …."

Maleea groaned and turned away from his knowing eyes. He was beginning to narrow in too well, she thought. If she wasn't careful, she'd blurt it all out and make a complete fool of herself. Making a mental note to stop her alcohol intake after this beer, she warned, "Kaidan -"

Either he didn't catch the hint, or he didn't care. Maleea was betting on the second option. "So," he continued, "… you're not interested in _any_one?"

"I never said that!" Maleea retorted sharply before she could stop herself.

"Aha!" he crowed, grin widening. "So there _is_ someone!"

Maleea decided then and there that Kaidan gloating was something she found _very_ annoying … even if it was her own fault in the first place. "I … All I will say is that I had the _potential_ for someone once," she allowed, quietly. It was difficult to push the ache away at that thought. _Potential that, apparently, is no longer there …_ Head dropping, she began toying with her beer bottle, eyes refusing to meet his.

"I'm sorry," he replied quickly, his teasing falling by the wayside. "What happened?"

Maleea shrugged and eventually drained the last of her bottle before she answered. "He was interested in someone else," she told him honestly. She turned to face him for a long moment, daring to meet his gaze, if briefly. "It was my fault, I suppose," she admitted - all too easy a thing to do around him, even now. "I'd been warned by a friend to let him know how I felt, but I never did."

She was startled when he lifted a hand to her chin, tucking it beneath and gently guiding her head up so he could look more fully into her eyes. "More fool him," he told her quietly.

Shocked and stunned just a little bit speechless, Maleea struggled to keep her emotions neutral. _Oh, Kaidan … if you only knew._ "Come on," she told him a moment later when she was certain her voice would be steady enough and not crack, "Let's move this back inside. Dinner should be about ready."

* * *

Like life in the military, the days on Mindoir fell into a semblance of regular and somewhat comfortable routine. Rising early, the day began with a hearty breakfast for the both of them. After which, chores needing immediate attention were prioritized, and onward the day rolled until night fell. Only then did they part ways into separate rooms and beds to rest until the time came to rise with the next dawn to repeat the process all over again.

One of the first things to which Kaidan was introduced after Shepard spent the better part of lunch explaining to him the entire procedure of how it had come about in the first place, were the additional helping hands that appeared every afternoon as soon as school released for the day. The teens were polite enough, Kaidan acknowledged, though perhaps a bit fearful of him at first. Whether they knew him to be what he was or not remained to be seen, though given the fact that they did seem to know that Maleea had been a soldier 'during the war,' chances were they might have heard his name a time or two before.

It was after introductions that first day, that Maleea pulled Kaidan aside. "Come on. Let's go for that tour I promised you." When Chief and LT began to form up on her, she waved them off, signaling them to stay with the teenagers. While normally Maleea wouldn't hesitate to have them along for the drive, she had a particular mission this day from which she didn't necessarily need to be distracted. It was going to be difficult enough as it was.

Piling into one of two trucks parked near the barn, Maleea took them out the easternmost trail. As she drove, she pointed out landmarks and other references for Kaidan, all the while telling him about the history behind the colony and its farmers as she knew it. The property was larger than Kaidan expected. Good size for both a decent sized herd of cattle and some crops, depending on what Maleea had planned for her students each year.

After a while, Kaidan noticed Maleea seemed to begin drawing within herself more. She became very quiet, her narrative ceased and by the time they pulled into a somewhat open area, no crops or cattle in sight, just a small stone monument on the top of the hill where she had brought him, it began to dawn on him exactly where she had brought him. If he looked close enough, and he did, there were obvious hints that some larger buildings had once stood on this land. He followed her out of the vehicle, remaining close but not hovering, at a loss what to say or do to make this easier for her. This was not what he'd intended when he'd asked her for a tour of the lands.

At the top of the rise, Kaidan watched as Maleea knelt down, hands automatically moving to clear away weeds, leaves and other detritus that had gathered before reaching out to run her fingers over the words carved into the granite's surface. _A man who won't die for something is not fit to live.**_

"Mal …," Kaidan whispered, taking to a knee beside her, his hand coming to rest against her shoulder.

"He gave his life so I could flee, you know," Maleea said quietly. "Him … and Red."

Kaidan frowned. "Red?"

Glancing down, he noted a small smile play at the corners of her lips for a moment. "Our dog. He just … showed up one day, flopped down onto our front porch, declaring us his home. No tags, acted like he belonged with us, and so we kept him. Dad tried to call him Rover a few times, but he wasn't having any of that. Ended up calling him Red because of the reddish brown color of his coat."

Kaidan's hand tightened just a bit. He wasn't surprised when her hand rose to touch his briefly. Just a light fluttering of fingers over the top of his hand. "Sounds like he was a pretty smart dog."

Maleea's laugh was somber. "He was. He and dad … just …"

Her head ducked down and Kaidan could hear the nearly strangled quality to her voice now. Leaning in, he murmured, "Mal, you don't have to talk about this if you don't want to."

But she shook her head. "No … I think … Kaidan, I need to." Sitting back on her heels, she lifted her head towards the sky for a moment, seeking out the sun. Her eyes were closed, but he could see that she was well aware of her surroundings; each twitch at the corner of her eyes, every alteration to the angle of her tilting head indicated she was still taking in information. "I've held it in for so long …."

In the weeks and months after she'd been rescued, after surviving for several days all on her own hidden away in the woods surrounding the area until she'd been found by an Alliance patrol, both Alliance medical personnel and the people in charge of her case in the foster system had tried to get her to see someone, _talk _to someone about what had happened on Mindoir. Maleea had flat out refused. It hadn't been that she'd not wanted to talk - well, okay, that had been part of it, she could look back and accept that now. Rather, it had been a case of she hadn't seen a point to it. Had she been affected by everything that had happened? Of course she had. But Maleea had been raised to believe in self-reliance. In dealing with what happened and moving forward. Of not letting the past define who she was in the present. She and she alone was responsible for herself, her choices, her actions and how she handled things. Losing her mother when very young? She and her father had found a way to grieve together, each in their own ways, but at the same time they had moved forward. This, then, had just been an extension of that for Mal.

Now though …

"It was evening," she murmured. "I was inside cleaning up after dinner, dad was outside closing things down for the night. He thought maybe storms were rolling in, you know? The rumblings of thunder echoing in the distance. Even called inside to get me to make sure all of the windows were closed up well. Only, he got it wrong." Her eyes opened and met his. "It was the sounds of the slavers' ships approaching."

Still kneeling beside her, Kaidan shifted so he could sit comfortably. Hand remaining on her shoulder in an offer of support, he squeezed gently before lowering it, trailing it down her arm and taking her hand in his, making certain that connection was secure.

"I didn't realize there was a problem until I heard a gunshot and Red barking furiously," she whispered. Her hand tightened around his, that lifeline keeping her anchored to the present instead of losing herself inside of the memories. There were times that still happened, though they were much fewer and farther between than they had been years before. "That's when I grabbed my gun and started heading out of the house to help. But dad …." Her shoulders trembled a bit. "He was retreating, backing up to the house, Red with him. I met him near the porch, but still inside where I couldn't be seen. He told me to turn around and run … just as he took a shot to his shoulder. He told me to head out the back and go as far as I could, to get away and find help, but most of all … to live."

The shaking grew more pronounced and Kaidan shifted so he could pull her closer, his arm moving to offer her support around her shoulders now. "I heard Red go down before I'd managed to get out of the house," she whispered, her old friend's dying cry something she would never forget as long as she lived, no matter how many lifetimes that might be. "But I ran. Just like my father told me to." Taking a deep breath, she sat up a bit, glanced around and finally pointed to their right. "I'd made it to the treeline before I heard dad … go ..."

Kaidan tightened his hold around her. "Any father would have done the same, you know," he murmured quietly. "We've seen enough over the years to -"

Maleea nodded, turning slightly so she could rest her head against his shoulder. "I know," she agreed, though her voice was thick and raspy. "It took me a while to understand that, but I know."

They sat together, beside the monument, each to their own thoughts for a long while. Kaidan couldn't help but remember his own father's fate during the war, but being here with Maleea made it a bit more bearable to think about now. He could, he supposed, see his father in a similar light. Getting his mother to safety, making sure she would be taken care of before heading back to help with the fight. He'd been a soldier. A husband. A father. It was only natural he would have done what he could to protect the others of the area from the Reapers. Hadn't Kaidan learned from him what responsibility to duty was all about?

Maleea knew she was giving herself another chance to heal. Though time and distance over the years certainly had helped, since her return she still rarely ventured to this place, the memories so strong, so vivid, and, until today, still so troublesome. But with Kaidan beside her, it had been … easier. Somewhat, anyway. It hurt, yes, but she suspected that pain would always be there. It was the same whenever she thought of old friends no longer present. Anderson. Ashley. Thane. Mordin ….

After a time, Kaidan told her, "The monument … it's nice."

Maleea smiled. Sitting up, she felt a moment of disappointment as his arm dropped away, but that left as his hand dropped to hold hers again. "When I first came back," she explained, "I was still recovering physically. Several friends came to stay with me those first few weeks." She felt a smile pull at her lips. That had been an interesting experience. Zaeed, Garrus, Samara … all of them living in a house, finishing up the security measures, setting up a household, making sure that Maleea could get around as needed as easily as possible after they left. "I came out here one day with Samara. She … the idea was mine, but she helped me to get it pulled together." Maleea thought back to that day fondly. Maleea had always felt Samara an air of peace and calm around the justicar. When Samara had offered to assist, to help Maleea find her own sense of peace, she'd accepted without a second thought.

After a few more minutes of quiet which allowed Maleea to pull her thoughts together, she glanced over at Kaidan. "We probably ought to head back to the house just in case the kids need us."

Kaidan assisted Maleea to her feet, but before he released her, he pulled her close for one last hug. "You didn't have to tell me what happened," he murmured. When she opened her mouth to protest, he lifted a finger to cover her lips. "But I'm glad you did," he added.

Maleea sighed softly and smiled. "It's not something I share with most people," she admitted as they walked back to the truck. "Just those I feel … close to."

"Then, I'm glad you count me among them," he told her.

Before he released her hand and allowed her into the vehicle, Maleea squeezed his once more. "So am I."

** Quote from Martin Luther King, Jr.


	5. The Daily Grind

Kaidan found his days settling into an easy and somewhat familiar rhythm on the farm. In a vague sort of fashion, they became a gentle reminder of his years working on the family orchard back home. There was always something requiring attention of some sort, and how Maleea had been managing to this point was a bit of a wonder to him. Though, whenever he tried to find out further details on this, she politely refused to give him the answers he sought, proving that certain traits - like stubbornness - still remained, and that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. From watching her first hand, however, Kaidan suspected that the former Commander often took on more of the physical work herself than she probably should for someone still recovering from such extensive injuries as she had received on the Citadel in that last battle. Both Miranda and Chakwas had used the word 'miracle' in reference to Maleea's survival, and after viewing her medical charts, Kaidan had to agree, though he and the others had seen that stubbornness lead Maleea to extraordinary actions in past. This was proving to be no different in that regard.

But Kaidan also noted that, while Maleea filled her days with hard work, the evenings became something … more. Dinnertime between them often turned into a blend of talking 'shop' mixed with reminiscences of times past sprinkled with just a bit of playfulness for fun. Kaidan found out that Maleea could, as she had mentioned back on the Citadel years before, cook rather well … though it still took a few weeks for him to convince her that he could contribute by taking over responsibility for some of the cooking duties. As a way to return the favor for providing him with a place to stay, he explained. Again, that Shepard stubbornness reared its head, but eventually, they worked out an amenable arrangement where they traded off every other day.

Weeks passed, turning into months, and Kaidan gradually found himself welcomed as a part of Maleea's home. The first to accept him, he found, were the animals. Chief - all bark and growl on the outside, but a real softie inside, just like her namesake - was the first to accept his presence, followed shortly thereafter by LT (Kaidan was quick to realize that despite species differences, the two animals were dedicated to one another and refused to be apart). It didn't hurt that Kaidan would take them out for long runs each morning and then again in the evenings. Toss in the odd treat, 'accidentally on purpose' while he was cooking, and the three were thick as thieves within a week. Mr. Wiggles, the space hamster, was a bit more stubborn and standoffish than the larger animals, but even he couldn't resist the added attentions after a month or so.

After several weeks of working with and around Kaidan on a daily basis, wariness gave way to acceptance as even the teenagers succumbed to his charms. Kaidan put it down to his experience teaching, but Maleea knew better. Over the years, she had witnessed him in a number of situations in which he'd been able to put people - no matter race or species - at ease. She also suspected it was, in large part, why the Council had agreed to Udina's original request to make Kaidan a Council Spectre. Udina might have thought Kaidan would be someone he could manipulate to his own purposes, but the Council …. Maleea knew Sparatus, Tevos and even Valern would see past that. Kaidan had proven his abilities over the years. Maleea knew good and well that they had seen what she had known almost from the first she'd met him. His patience. Kindness. Deep down, he was a good person. He listened carefully. He wasn't prone to making snap judgements. He took everything into consideration. And though he'd asked to return to the _Normandy_ during the war and submit himself to Maleea's command even though he outranked her, she had known him to be an extraordinary leader in his own right.

But that didn't mean that Kaidan didn't know how to have a bit of fun once in a while.

On this afternoon, the plan was to transport additional feed out for the cattle. Gavin, with all the arrogance of a teenager sporting a newly-issued and hard-won driver's license, carefully moved the truck into the barn so that everything could be loaded into the back. Almost immediately, Kaidan and Shane stepped into place and began filling the bed with the hay and other equipment necessary for the day's run. Maleea, ever the leader, moved over to do her part and was in process of lifting herself into the bed of the truck when she felt a sharp tug of the long, thick braid trailing down her back. A tug hard enough to pull her off balance so that she had to release her grasp on the vehicle in order to land safely back onto the ground. Only then did Maleea spin around to face off with Kaidan amidst the somewhat childish giggles and sing-songy jeers of, "Ooooo! Someone's gonna get it!"

Biting back a mixture of annoyance at the action and amusement at the kids' responses, Maleea mused aloud and in a mildly threatening tone, "You know, the last person to pull my hair like that was Sammy Nichols."

Kaidan, too, was obviously swallowing back laughter. "Is that so?" he countered calmly. "And just what happened to this Sammy Nichols as a result?"

The truth was not nearly so adventurous in the telling, so Maleea decided to embellish just a little. "He ended up with a well deserved bloody nose." Okay, so she hadn't clocked him good (though even now she still thought he'd deserved it!), but Kaidan didn't know that, and neither did the kids.

There was a moment's pause in which Kaidan's gaze locked with her own. In them, she could see more mischief than anything else. "Then it's a good thing I know how to defend myself," he told her, his voice dropping as he closed in another step towards her, "against such things."

Maleea smirked, eyes twinkling. Battlefield flirtations? Even though the 'battlefield' was different, Maleea recognized it for what it was. "I've learned a thing or three since I was seven years old, Alenko," she warned, her own voice dropping to match his.

Leaning in further, Kaidan's eyes flared just a bit more. "No doubt," he murmured before sneaking a quick kiss on the tip of her nose before turning back around and gently guiding her out of the way before she could protest. Maleea moved out of the way, still stunned by Kaidan's maneuver, but deep inside she found herself more than just a little thrilled over something so silly. She'd never admit it, of course. It would make her seem as childish and young as someone like Shauna, but even the former Commander Shepard could find a moment to feel … playful once in a while. That it appeared Kaidan could too just made the moment all that much sweeter.

* * *

One of the more awkward things about having a more or less permanent (if only temporary) roommate were the days in which Maleea found herself unable hide some of the more obvious evidence that her injuries sustained during the last battle on the Citadel were still in the process of healing even two years later. Flaws? Perhaps not so much that, but given that she expected more out of herself than others, moments such as this were difficult to accept on a personal level.

The first occasion this happened, like many of the instances Maleea had been noticing since her recovery began, was on a cool and rainy day outside.

"Shit!"

Startled by the vocal outburst emanating from the kitchen as he descended the stairs, Kaidan followed the voice to find Maleea seated at the table. Back to him, he couldn't tell at first what the trouble was. "Mal?" he called out as he entered the room. "You all right?"

He heard her grumble, saw her back stiffen (only at that point did he realize that she'd been leaning forward, partially hunched over the floor) and immediately straightened up as he spoke. But it wasn't until he'd taken several more steps into the room, crossing over to the table himself, that he was able to see what she was doing.

With a frustrated huff, Maleea let the boot laces fall from her fingers in disgust. "It's nothing," she muttered, pointedly looking away from him. She was _healing_, dammit! She would not ask for help when she should be able to do this for herself!

Concern gnawing away at his gut, Kaidan was about to ask if she was certain when he caught sight of her her hands rubbing over one another, as if trying to massage them. _As if they were stiff or sore or otherwise causing discomfort_, the field medic in him noted quickly. It was then that he recalled a discussion he'd had with Dr. Chakwas before coming to Mindoir.

-=O=-

_"Don't let her stubbornness fool you, Major. The Commander is not nearly so well healed as she would like the rest of us to think."_

_Surprised, Kaidan asked, "What do you mean, doctor?" _

_Chakwas sighed and in that sound, Kaidan heard more than just a little concern. "Shepard's body has been through so much over the past few years," she explained, "and often without proper time or conditions in which to fully heal before moving on to the next mission."_

_Kaidan nodded. He knew that to be true enough for most marines. "Alright. I assume you've something specific you want me to watch for then?"_

_Again, Chakwas sighed. "That's just it, Kaidan, I don't. I can tell you that she left rehabilitation too early. Her body was not fully healed, even this time. I have no doubts that she NEEDED to leave, if only for her own sanity, but that does not change the fact that she still needs time to physically heal." Shaking her head, Chakwas smirked as she turned to share a knowing look with him. "Commander Maleea Shepard is not one to be kept tied down when she does not wish to be."_

_Kaidan smiled widely. He knew that well enough, too. "She is a force of nature to be reckoned with," he agreed. "Okay, doctor, tell me what I should be watching for then …."_

-=O=-

Armed with a full briefing of Maleea's medical condition, of past injuries, of the implants and weaves and other technologies used on or implanted into her by Cerberus, Kaidan felt as fully prepared as anyone could be for a situation such as this.

Which was why, instead of speaking to her about the fact her hands were giving her issue at the moment, Kaidan elected to kneel down in front of her, take up the laces in his own hands quickly tie the boots for her. As he did, he could feel the tension building within her, almost vibrating off her in waves, and wondered briefly if he'd presumed too much. Though he suspected she was battling herself over what, if anything, she should say to him, or do to protest his current attentions, Kaidan ignored it.

The minute he finished the task, Kaidan rose back to his feet. Without comment, he turned instead to retrieve the cup of coffee waiting for him on the nearby counter.

It bought him some time. It was several minutes later before he heard a soft, reluctant, "Thanks," from behind him.

Setting his now nearly empty cup aside on the counter, Kaidan turned around to face her, arms folded across his chest, hips leaning back against the counter. Her eyes were guarded, he noted, and her arms folded in a similar manner as she sat back in her chair. From this, he guessed that she was waiting for him to challenge her on her abilities to do her job.

He knew better than that, which was why he asked quietly, "Where do you need me today?"

Maleea's eyes widened in surprise, and it took her a few moments to manage a reply. "The herd needs to be moved to the south pasture," she finally announced.

Kaidan nodded, but his eyes narrowed. The herd she ran wasn't huge by any stretch of the imagination, just large enough for her needs and for the students to run in most cases, but …. "Wouldn't that be a job best suited for the kids to do this afternoon?" he asked, the only hint of a challenge he was willing to risk just then.

Maleea sighed. "If I was here alone, sure," she admitted, reluctance still tingeing her tone. He saw her lips tilt, offering the merest hint of a teasing sort of grin on one side. "But surely the first two human spectres can manage something as simple as this, don't you think?"

It took a moment for her words to fully register, but when they did, Kaidan could not help but chuckle at them. "Absolutely. If you think they'll listen to reason and negotiate a peaceful move, why not?"

He saw her lips twitch for a moment as the ridiculous turn their conversation had just taken fully registered with her. Just one twitch. On the right side. Then her nose scrunched just a bit. That plus the fact she had to turn away had him wondering if he'd managed to get her ….

The first giggle that broke free sounded almost strangled, Maleea thought. But really, how could she not laugh? The image of the two of them attempting to negotiate a cooperative effort in transferring the herd to the next pasture over brought back, of all things, the memories of facing Primarch Victus, Urdnot Wrex and Dalatrass Linron in the conference room aboard the _Normandy_. Soon, the giggles were giving way to full blown laughs, her arms wrapping tightly around her middle in a protective gesture.

Kaidan found he couldn't resist laughing with her. To see her this relaxed was such a change from how he'd ever seen her before. Time had not been kind to them in that regard. Oh, sure, there had been moments of levity that broke up the tedium and more serious nature of their work, but right now she seemed so much more … carefree. Uninhibited. It was a sight - and a joy - to witness firsthand.

The moment was soon lost, however. Beginning to pull themselves back under control, both were startled when Chief suddenly bounded into the room and over to Maleea's side, pressing her nose insistently onto Shepard's arm, then nosing her snout down into Maleea's hand. After a moment's confusion, Maleea, speaking softly and petting and scratching behind the animal's ears, finally heard the soft beeping from the back room that was causing the commotion. "Liara's calling," she told Kaidan as she rose to her feet.

It did not escape his attention that Maleea was leaning heavily against the table just then, but when he took a step towards her, she brushed him away with a curt shake of her head. "Go on," she told him. "I'll be there in a moment."

Sighing softly, Kaidan acquiesced and exited the room to the back office to answer the call.

Maleea wasn't too far behind Kaidan, though she knew she'd be slower this morning. Not only were her hands stiff and uncooperative today, but her right leg as well. She didn't necessarily need him seeing that just now, though. It was bad enough he'd witnessed the lack of dexterity she'd displayed with her fingers. And the last thing she was wanting were for her inabilities to get back to Chakwas or, worse yet, Miranda. It had been difficult enough for her to break free from rehab the first time. Knowing those two, if they heard of Maleea's ongoing issues, they'd yank her back in so fast, her head would be left spinning.

Shoving her worries aside for later, both Chief (on her left) and LT (on her right) moved in beside her. They were used to her occasional bouts of stiff awkwardness, and she'd trained them to assist by staying alongside her during such times.

By the time Maleea arrived at the doorway and waved the animals off (the room was too small for two people plus two animals), she could hear Kaidan speaking with Liara. Leaning against the doorframe, she peered around the corner before taking a slow step inside the room. She saw Kaidan turn to look over at her before pushing back his chair to rise; noted also the face on the screen glance over in her direction, a smile of greeting turning to concern a moment later, but Maleea shook her head. She was going to do this on her own. She didn't need help or pity or anything else. "Hey, Blue," she called in greeting as she took a few more steps. "Something going on?"

"Shepard," Liara greeted her, a smile returning to her features. "No visitors incoming, unexpected or otherwise, if that's what you're asking."

Maleea managed a small chuckle as she finally stepped up behind Kaidan and leaned against the back of the chair. Only he could possibly notice how much effort it was costing her by the weight she was placing there, but if he did, he said nothing. "Oh good. Don't know if I could handle Jack and Zaeed together again so soon," she quipped dryly.

Liara chuckled. "I will keep that in mind next time they both ask to stop by," she replied. Her tone was serious, but there was a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. "Anyway, I just called to update Kaidan on a few things. Progress in our search, that sort of thing."

Maleea stiffened. It was all too easy to forget the true purpose for Kaidan's presence in her life at the moment. "And?"

Liara's reply was prefaced with a sigh of frustration. "Sadly, we've not had much luck yet. I'm sorry, Shepard, but -"

Maleea waved her friend off. "Don't worry about it," she replied. "I think we both know how these things go." Relaxing just a bit, she added with a small smirk, "Besides, Kaidan's turning out to be quite the farmhand, so at least someone's getting something out of this."

Kaidan chuckled. "Orchard, farm. All in a day's work, right?"

"So it would seem," Liara replied with a warm smile. "I should get back to it, I suppose. We'll never find who is behind this if I don't."

"Liara," Maleea called, leaning over Kaidan's shoulder so she could see her friend's face more clearly, "thank you."

"Anytime, Shepard. Oh! And before I forget, end of the week you'll have a delivery. Nothing major, but there will be some specialized equipment for Kaidan to install on your computer so we can be sure our transmissions aren't compromised from here out."

Maleea glanced down at Kaidan who simply shrugged. "That's fine. Usual suspects?" Maleea asked.

With a grin, Liara nodded. "Indeed."

A moment later, the screen dimmed leaving Maleea once again alone with Kaidan.

"Usual suspects?"

"Hmm?" Maleea murmured as she straightened up again, his words pulling her thoughts back to him. "Oh. That just means that she'll have the _Normandy_ swing by so she can 'borrow' Steve to run the delivery down."

Startled and halfway to his feet, Kaidan felt the wheeled chair slide out of his grasp. Recovering quickly, he grabbed it before it ran into Maleea, but he couldn't refrain from blinking in confusion. "Wait … what? Since when is your former shuttle pilot at the beck and call of the Shadow Broker?" he asked.

Biting back a smile, Maleea explained, "He's been doing most of the errand runs all along. Even bringing me home last year." She chuckled softly. "And, can you honestly imagine Admiral Hackett denying Liara use of him whenever she needed after all she did to help against the Reapers?"

Kaidan wasn't surprised to see a fond smile now form. He'd known that Maleea and Cortez' relationship had been one of mutual respect and friendship. Hell, for that matter, when the _Normandy_ had been MIA for weeks, Steve had confided to Kaidan that he hoped Shepard wouldn't worry about him after the fiasco that had been his last run after dropping them off at the Hades cannon. The pilot had admitted that he'd had a chance to speak with Shepard before the final push, but he'd still been concerned.

Shaking his head, Kaidan rounded the chair and moved to her side, leading her towards the doorway and back to the kitchen. He wasn't going to take no for an answer this time. "I guess I can see your point," he agreed.

They were at the back door when he stopped, glancing over at her once again. "So. Council Spectres, huh?"

Maleea did grin now. "That's right."

Hand rising to rub against stubbled jaw, he asked, "There's no chance of a reporter seeing us out there, is there?"

Maleea snorted in amusement which apparently was enough of a call for Chief and LT to come bounding over. "Just give me my jacket," she finally managed when she was able to bring her laughter under control. Once he handed it over, she took it in hand and, before he could stop her, flicked him with the tail of it. "No, we should be fine unless you've been broadcasting to ANN or Westerlund where you've been working undercover these past weeks."

Kaidan actually shuddered. "Perish the thought," he muttered before opening the door, allowing the animals out and then following her through. But at least she hadn't figured out he'd snagged the truck keys from her jacket pocket yet ….

* * *

Roughly once a month, Maleea would have the teenagers spend a weekend at the farm. The main purpose for this was to assist her with overnight care of the herd and other chores so that they received a well rounded experience. In the springtime, calving was the main focus and sometimes required more than one weekend of extra attention. Other times it could be weaning, inoculations, and other various duties associated with the business. But no matter the reason for the stayover, Maleea went out of her way to show them that despite the long hours of hard work necessary to keep the farm running, there were moments in which levity and camaraderie and just plain fun could break through.

Since his arrival on Mindoir, Kaidan had been a part of such weekends twice. This weekend would make the third and, according to Maleea, would be the last one before the colony fair in three weeks time that would allow the kids to show off the animals to the rest of the community as well as to potential buyers. She'd also indicated that this weekend would be a bit more laid back than the previous ones.

With school out for summer, the three teens arrived bright and early Thursday morning and were scheduled to remain through Sunday morning. The majority of that time was spent on the usual chores, another shifting of the entire herd to a different pasture, and last minute preparations for other parts of the individual projects - charts, diagrams, detailed recordings of their animals and the like - that they would display at the fair.

By the time Saturday evening rolled around, Maleea decided to let things loosen up just a bit more. Declaring all but the essential evening chores complete for the weekend (including a final check over the rest of their projects), it was now time for fun. Which, of course with the teens around, involved a cookout and a lot of very loud music.

"Alenko, you get grill duty," Maleea announced as they entered the house at the end of the day. "Shauna, you can help me in the kitchen. Gavin and Shane can -"

"Wait a minute … how did I end up with grill detail?" Kaidan asked.

Leading the way through the kitchen, Maleea reached the refrigerator and opened the door. Pulling out a paper wrapped bundle, she placed it, a bottle and then one other, smaller package in his arms. "Beef. Bacon. Beer," she announced with a grin as she pointed to each item he now held. "I believe you once told me these were the foods of your people?"

Kaidan's eyes met her and for just a second, the two adults were oblivious to the amused laughter of the teenagers. Finally breaking away, Kaidan gave in to a deep chuckle and murmured, "My own words thrown back at me. Guess I can't argue with that," before turning to head out the door to the back porch where the grill was located.

"And us?"

Maleea turned towards Gavin and Shane. Giving Shauna a broad wink, she told them, "You two have the unenviable job of setting the table out back. Complete with tablecloth."

The protests began immediately, but fell upon deaf ears. Raising her hands above her head, flicking them outwards as if warding off bugs, Maleea responded, "No, Shane, this is not 'a girl's job,' unless you'd rather be helping me in the kitchen?" Shifting her attention to Gavin, she continued, "And, Gavin, what do you think your grandmother would say if she heard you now?"

Grumbling but good natured protests fading away, Maleea directed Shauna to begin working on a salad while she began tracking down the required elements for the boys. Within fifteen minutes, Maleea was dropping into one of the kitchen chairs. "Whew! I thought they'd never get out there!"

From her position at the counter slicing up vegetables for the salad, Shauna glanced over at Maleea and laughed. "Mom says the same thing most of the time."

Maleea grinned as she rose to her feet after a few minutes and moved to help. "Your mother is a very smart woman," Maleea announced. With her added input, it didn't take long before they had the salad complete and were beginning to work on the other essentials.

"So, Mal," Shauna began, her voice as soft as usual, but Maleea understood that by using the shortened version of her name the teen was actually feeling quite comfortable around her, "can we?"

Maleea, in the middle of slicing a fresh loaf of bread, glanced over at Shauna. "Can we what?" she asked, though she suspected she could guess given the twinkle in the girl's eyes.

"You _know_," Shauna replied, her attempt at nonchalance almost complete.

Biting back a grin, Maleea placed the bread slices in a basket then grabbed it and the bowl of salad while Shauna carried the rest and both headed outside. "I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about, Shauna," she replied as she led the way over to the table.

"Awww, c'mon, Mal!" both boys chorused while relieving her of her items and setting them in the middle of the table. "Please?"

"Pfft," Maleea mockingly scoffed. "What do you think I am, a pushover?" she challenged. "Just ask Alenko - he knows better."

Four sets of eyes turned onto Kaidan who chose that moment to turn around and see what the fuss was about. "Whoa … what?" His eyes met Maleea's. "Though it's hardly accurate, I think I like this 'knowing better' ability you claim I have."

Maleea rolled her eyes at him. "Am I or am I not a pushover?" Maleea asked. As she spoke, she walked over beside him and reached to snatch the bottle of beer from the small table beside the grill. Dangling it tantalizingly in front of him, she teased, "You might want to be careful how you answer that."

"No fair!" Gavin called out. Shauna was laughing so hard she fell onto one of the chairs. Shane stood beside his best friend, arms folded and nodding his support.

"Ah ah ah ah!" Maleea countered as she turned to face them. She used the index finger of the hand holding the bottle of beer and waggled it at the boys in a chastising fashion. Kaidan, watching the entire show, reached over her shoulder and snatched the bottle back while she was distracted. "Hey!"

Shrugging and adopting what he hoped was an innocent look, he retorted, "Someone had to rescue it from a power hungry mercenary like you!"

Rolling her eyes again, Maleea tossed him a look that told of her disbelief. "So … are you going to answer the question?"

It took Kaidan a moment as he was piling the now grilled meat on the plate, but when he turned back around and began walking over to the table, he responded dryly, "I thought I just did."

Dinner was served up and eaten in a comfortable atmosphere filled with laughter and amused banter. However, they were just finishing the meal when Maleea noticed the three teens beginning to dart quick and furtive looks back and forth between them. Sighing, she muttered, "You three are about as subtle as a pack of pyjacks breaking into a krogan supply cache, I swear."

Shauna's grin widened. "So … that's a yes, right?" she asked.

"It's not a 'no'!" Shane crowed.

Maleea pursed her lips tightly, pretending reluctant agreement. "Dishes first," she insisted a moment later.

"Whooo!"

Maleea's eyes met Kaidan's across the table as the three jumped to their feet and began clearing things away. "Just make sure that the leftovers get -"

"Into the fridge," Gavin shouted back over his shoulder as he held the door open for the other two. "We know."

"What exactly is it they're wanting to do?" Kaidan asked.

Sighing, Maleea sat back in her chair and took a sip of her drink. "I will sometimes let them dig through my music collection," she replied. "We'll spend a couple of hours playing old songs, singing to them, that sort of thing. They seem to enjoy it." She shook her head and chuckled. "Despite comments regarding how 'old fashioned' my taste in music can be."

From across the table, Kaidan kept his eyes on her. Yet again, he was learning something new about her that he'd not known before. "Seriously?"

Maleea nodded. "I'm very serious about my music, Alenko," she retorted. "You never noticed that before?"

"I remember Wrex making some comment about the music you had playing at that party on the Citadel," he replied mildly. He saw her smile then, her eyes taking on a far away sort of look, and he presumed she was thinking of their friend and squadmate.

"Close enough," Maleea finally responded. The sudden blast of loud music from inside the house had her turning. "We'd best get inside," she told him. Not that she was worried or anything. The volume was quickly adjusted, lowering to tolerable levels before Maleea or Kaidan even reached the door.

"So," he said, leaning towards her so she could hear, "not a pushover, hmm?"

Maleea rolled her eyes and turned to shove him towards the front room. "Go _on_, Alenko," she ordered firmly.

But Kaidan wrapped a hand around her wrist, tugging her along. "Not without you," he replied.

"I'll do the dishes first," she told him with a nod towards the sink. "Go … you can regale them with stories of my prowess on the dance floor or something."

Chuckling, Kaidan released her. "Or something," he agreed. Eyeing the sink himself, he asked, "Are you sure you don't want help?"

Maleea glanced over at him. "Nope. I've got this. Besides, is the second human spectre afraid of a few teenagers?" she teased.

He shook his head. "Not them," he insisted as he walked away. "It's their taste in music!"

Laughing, Maleea turned back towards the sink and pushed up her sleeves before getting to work.

* * *

The dishes proved to be a quick task, and Maleea soon turned to pulling out homemade cookies she'd baked the day before as a late night treat. Placing them on a plate, she started into the front room to join Kaidan and the teens … but found herself pausing in the doorway when she got there, unable to move any further inside as she took in the sight before her.

With Shauna standing off to the side, her arms wrapped around her middle as she laughed in an animated fashion at the antics of her brother and friend, Shane and Gavin were busily trying to keep up singing with Kaidan. Maleea swallowed back amusement - the two younger boys had playful senses of humor and were attempting to try to outdo the other in the process, so it seemed - but her eyes fell upon Kaidan just as he looked over in her direction. He flashed her a quick grin as his smooth baritone filled the room.

_Through all these cities and all these towns_

_It's in my blood and it's all around_

_I love you now like I loved you then_

_This is the road and these are the hands_

_From Mozambique to those Memphis nights_

_The Khyber Pass to Vancouver's lights_

The boys began singing along with him for the next verse, but Maleea barely noticed. Even as she stepped further into the room to set the plate of cookies on the table and the teens' eyes all fell on her, she kept her focus locked one place only.

Kaidan would never be certain what exactly came over him the moment he realized that Maleea had her attention focused solely on him, but the end result was worth it if it meant he had her full and undivided attention. Turning, he made his way over towards her in a dancing sort of fashion as the kids dove for the cookies. All the while, he crooned,

_There ain't no load that I can't hold_

_Road so rough this I know_

_I'll be there when the light comes in_

_Just tell 'em we're survivors_

The rest of the words to the song just sort of fell away after that, but he didn't care. She seemed almost … shocked? As if the meaning of them suddenly hit her. But it certainly seemed to be in a pleased sort of way if the twinkling in her eyes was any indication. It took another moment before she commented, "I ... I didn't know you could sing."

Kaidan grinned. "I still have a few secrets," he admitted. "Even from you."

Maleea rolled her eyes, turning away from him, but Kaidan moved quickly, his arm sliding around her middle and holding her in place. "What about you?" he asked.

Maleea's brow lifted. "Do I have secrets, you mean?"

"Do you sing?" he countered.

"Oh," Shauna piped up from across the room, "Mal sings beautifully!"

Kaidan, who was still focused on Maleea, saw the faintest hint of red creeping up her neck and into her cheeks. "Is that so?"

Lifting her arms, Maleea pushed against Kaidan's chest just enough to create a bit of space. "Hardly. I really don't think -"

All three teens began protesting then. Loudly. Gavin was quick to move over to the stereo system and switch songs to a piece that had four part harmony. Shane whooped before jumping over the coffee table and grabbing Maleea's hand to pull her over beside him, Shauna and Gavin. "This one's perfect!" he announced.

"Now wait just a minute -" Maleea began protesting.

Ignoring her protests, Shane started:

_I feel no shame_

_I'm proud of where I came from_

_I was born and raised in the boondocks_

_One thing I know_

_No matter where I go_

_I keep my heart and soul_

_In the boondocks_

Shauna and Gavin began singing along with him:

_I can feel that_

_Muddy water runnin' through my veins_

_I can hear that_

_lullaby of the midnight train_

_And it sings to me and sounds familiar_

Sighing, Maleea finally gave in, her voice rising in harmony with the kids until the full four-parts blended seamlessly together as they continued through the remainder of the tune.

Kaidan stood off to the side, arms folded across his chest, head tilted to the side as he watched and listened … and savored. The song wasn't an overly familiar one to him, but the lyrics were easy enough and made it plain as day why it might appeal to colony born and bred individuals. There was a certain … zing Kaidan liked about listening to music. That moment, more than just the music itself, or the words or the blending of harmonies, but when a piece truly melded and blended into something _more_ and spoke to a listener on an altogether different level. It was something that could be _felt_ - emotionally, physically, spiritually even. _That_ was what he was hearing now.

Maleea glanced over as they neared the end of the song and was startled by the intensity in Kaidan's eyes as he watched. He smiled at her when his eyes met hers, and she couldn't help but smile back. She thought to walk back over to him as the song concluded, but Gavin caught her attention first. "Hey, Mal, where's your guitar? We could really make this song -"

Maleea groaned. Of course, the weekend Vega had visited and delivered the guitar to her had been a weekend the teens had been over. "Nope," she insisted, turning her attention to the kids for the moment. "Not this time."

A chorus of protests of, "Aw, Mal!" and "Please?" assaulted her, but she stood firm this time. "Sorry, but I'm not the one on the 'crack o' dawn' patrol," she reminded them. A quick glance at the clock had them all realizing how late it was. "Finish up the cookies then off to bed with you."

"I hope you saved some of those for us," Kaidan rumbled softly behind her as the kids grabbed a couple of cookies each and dashed upstairs leaving crumbs and an empty plate in their wake.

Shaking her head at the enthusiasm of youth, Maleea grabbed the plate, swept the crumbs up and turned towards Kaidan. "In the kitchen," she promised. "Along with the beer. Why not grab us some and meet me out on the front porch?"

Taking the plate from her, Kaidan nodded. "Back in a minute."

* * *

Realistically, Maleea knew it was less than five minutes before Kaidan joined her, plate in one hand (now refilled) and two bottles of beer in the other. She accepted the one he handed her with a nod of thanks and snatched a cookie from the plate as he took a seat on the steps. Placing the cookies between them, he settled back and took a long drink. "They're pretty good kids," he murmured, the sounds of said 'kids' as they prepared for bed on the floor above them occasionally rising over their conversation.

Maleea smiled. "They are," she agreed. "I think I got very lucky."

Kaidan's chuckle was a soft rumble into the night surrounding them. "More like they did," he told her.

Maleea's brow raised in curiosity. "Oh? How do you figure that?" she asked while drawing one leg up so she could wrap her arms around it.

Kaidan was quiet for a moment before he murmured, "You never did see how you managed to bring all of us together, did you?"

She frowned. "What do you mean?" she asked. "We were friends … comrades in arms. We worked well together, sure, but -"

"No," he insisted with a shake of his head. "It was more than that." Again, he was silent, and Maleea watched as he tried to find the words he wanted. "When we started out, we were Alliance only - that was it. But that changed when you recruited Garrus and Wrex, and then Tali joined us. When Liara came on, by then it was … natural, if that makes any sense."

Still frowning, Maleea turned to face him. "I'm still not sure I understand, Kaidan."

"During that hunt for Saren, it was harder to see," he mused, eyes staring up into the darkened sky as he spoke. "Well, until the end, maybe. After … Alchera."

Maleea drew in a sharp breath, but she did not stop him from speaking. Yes, Alchera had taken its toll on everyone.

"We were a team … a cohesive unit. It didn't matter that our ship belonged to the Alliance or that we had a krogan, a turian, a quarian and an asari as a part of it - we were a team. You were the one to make that possible."

Maleea shook her head. "Anyone could have pulled them together," she protested. "I just happened to be the Commander. You're giving me too much -"

Eyes meeting hers again, he shook his head again. "It was more than that. You were the Commander, sure. But you were a Spectre, too. Answerable only to the Council. But still, there was more. We were loyal to _you_. You were the one constant that we all had in common."

"Kaidan -"

He lifted his hand and waved off her protests. "I'm serious, Mal," he insisted. "Ash was the first to notice it, I think. She didn't say so, not in so many words, but she hinted that the only way we were able to get things done as well as we did was because of you. And she was right. After you were … gone, we all drifted apart. The one thing that had held us all together was gone, and so we split into pieces. And later, when Cerberus brought you back, you did the same thing again."

Sighing, Maleea nodded. Tipping her head back to rest against the railing, she closed her eyes before saying quietly, "Okay, that group I can see it with. How else would I have been able to pull such a disparate group of people together for a mission that, in all likelihood, should have gotten us killed?"

Kaidan chuckled. "Something like that, yeah," he agreed. He'd spoken with several of her squadmates from that mission well after the fact, and they all had told him the same thing - if it hadn't been for Shepard, they wouldn't have made it. She was the glue that held them together. "And then there was the war."

"That was different," Maleea argued.

"No," he insisted, "it wasn't. And I'm not just talking our team, which," he hastened to add, "you did the same thing with. But that aside, look at the other evidence. You managed to bring the krogan and the turians together -"

"Luck," she insisted.

"Skill," he countered. "You did the same with the quarians and the geth, too. You brought in the asari and the salarians. You formed an intergalactic alliance, greater in scope than any previously seen or known, and defeated an enemy that by all counts should have -"

Again, Maleea sighed. "Kaidan, stop. Please."

There was a hint of urgency in her tone that he caught. Lifting his hands in a gesture of surrender, Kaidan did as she requested, opting to sit back in silence for a time. She followed suit, and in the silence that followed, both found their attentions drifting away for a time. Some time later, relaxed once again and leaning back against the railing, Maleea murmured softly, "You know, I remember sitting on our porch and looking up at the stars with my Dad of an evening."

Kaidan glanced over at her. He saw her falling into a more contemplative mood. "You knew you wanted to join the Alliance?" he asked quietly.

"Not always," she explained. "A few months before the attack, Dad and I started talking - seriously talking - about what I really wanted to do with myself after I finished school. That's when the idea of joining the Alliance first came up. But even before that, we used to sit out here and he'd show me the constellations and stuff." Her eyes closed for a long moment, memories returning. "They were different from home, he said." She glanced over at Kaidan. "Mom and dad used to live in the southeastern section of the UNAS on Earth," she explained. "They came to Mindoir for a chance at new beginning."

There was a long pause, the only sounds from the night creatures wandering. "It sounds like they were successful," Kaidan finally mused.

Maleea sighed softly, but nodded. "For a time. Losing Mom was difficult for us both, but Dad found a way to keep going." Her eyes drifted to gaze out beyond the yard, in the distance, following the path that she'd taken him along when they'd visited the original homestead.

"And so did you."

A smile pulled at Maleea's lips. "Eventually," she agreed. "'Cancer' is a hard word for a young child to understand. I felt … robbed. Cheated. I was angry and wanted my mom back for a very long time, and I couldn't understand why she wouldn't come home."

Her voice was quiet, steady, logical, but Kaidan heard the residual hurt still present all these years later, and he winced. "Yeah," he agreed.

"I'm sure I acted out, making things difficult for Dad, but he was so patient." Leaning against the side railing, her eyes drifted back to rest on Kaidan. "You know, in some ways, you remind me of him."

Startled, Kaidan nearly choked on the sip of beer he'd been taking. "I … what?!" That wasn't quite what he'd hoped to hear from her.

Maleea couldn't help but laugh at his reaction. "No, no," she hurried on to explain, "I mean that in a good way. You have that same sort of patience he had. Calm, cool, collected under fire. You don't let things rattle you. You know how to keep control of a situation."

Kaidan met her eyes then, saw the sincerity there and for the briefest of moments, felt a warmth building in his chest. "Thank you," he finally managed. "That … that means a lot." And it did, he realized; that she'd think well enough of him in such a way.

Maleea's smile flashed a bit impishly. "Kaidan, you can relax," she told him with a soft chuckle. "I don't have 'daddy issues.'"

Again, she'd caught him taking a drink … and he nearly choked. But he also found it to be quite worth any temporary discomfort to witness her so relaxed and at ease. Her laughter sparkled up into her eyes and for the first time in years, he thought he could see the Maleea Shepard he'd first come to know back on the SR1 years before. _A lifetime ago._

Rising to her feet, Maleea stretched, feeling the days aches and pains pull and pop and settle back into a somewhat more comfortable position. It was a not so gentle reminder of everything she'd been through in her life to this point, certainly, but also proof that she was, above all else, a survivor.

"You okay?"

Kaidan's voice, quiet as it was, had her jumping. She hadn't realized he'd risen and walked right up behind her. "Yeah, I'm good," she replied. She heard him step closer and wondered what he was up to, but a moment later, recognition came with the touch of his hands at her shoulders. Strength. That was the first thing that came to mind as he began to move his hands along tightened and sore muscles. The steady, smooth rhythm as he worked at the kinks, the faintest hint of warmth - from his biotics, no doubt - helped ease away any lingering pain. "Mmmmm," she groaned softly as his fingers worked such a delightful magic.

His chuckle was a deep rumbling near her ear, and Maleea found it difficult to resist purring yet again. "Like that, do you?" he asked.

She bit her lower lip and nodded instead of speaking. When he shifted his hands down her upper arms, Maleea feared for a moment that she might just melt into a puddle of goo. She must have made some sort of sound of distress, though, because Kaidan soon was turning her to face him. "Mal?"

She heard a tinge of worry in his tone. "I'm … okay," she insisted. "That … was nice." She swallowed tightly. "Very nice." Lifting her eyes to meet his, she managed a somewhat shaky smile. She saw his brow lift, as if he didn't really believe her. "Seriously, Kaidan, I'm good," she insisted. "That just … it was …." She let her voice trail off for two reasons, only one of which had to do with the fact she couldn't find the words she wanted to describe how she'd felt during his attentions. It was more than just the physical relief of a massage. So much more. The other reason ….

With him this close, Maleea found it difficult to look anywhere but directly into his eyes, and what she found there … she couldn't quite decipher. There was an intensity burning inside them. A fire almost. It caught her, held her and pulled her in deeper, had her breath catching almost painfully in her chest for reasons she could not explain, even had she wanted to. And all the while as she lost herself in his amber depths, all she could think was that she was so damned tired of having that one age-old regret, the one that had been haunting her since her time aboard the SR1 ...

_Go for it, Skipper!_

Maleea felt a sudden and unexpected surge roll through her as she imagined she heard Ashley urging her on; an impulse that she no longer was willing to deny and thus, she reacted without thinking. Lifting herself onto her toes, shifting ever so slightly closer to him, Maleea felt her own eyes begin to close as some of her old Commander Shepard spark took over, allowing her to take charge of the situation, move in and press her lips against Kaidan's.

The immediate contact resulted in a brief moment of shock, a physical and emotional charge so strong that it left them both gasping in its wake as they pulled back a fraction of space, eyes meeting the other's in stunned surprise. Time stood still for a very long moment before Maleea took charge once again and closed the distance again. Had it been real or imagined? she wondered. She had to know.

Strong hands settled at her waist to keep her steady while she moved her own to curl into the fabric of his shirt. She thought she heard him moan, was fairly certain she could feel it through his chest. She definitely felt his hand rising beneath the edge of her shirt, fingers skimming along her lower back, tracing the edge of skin just above the waistline of her pants. Maleea heard herself whimper softly even as her fingers tightened their grip in his shirt, her lips spasming against his.

He tasted like cinnamon and spice … and beer. Or maybe she was being influenced by the scent of him at the same time. Whatever was causing it, it was a heady sensation and Maleea recognized that if she wasn't careful she would wind up throwing all caution to the wind and damning the consequences right here and right now. Then again, she'd survived the attack on Mindoir when she was sixteen. She'd made it through Elysium in one piece some years later, succeeding where others had failed. She'd come back from the dead and defeated the Reapers, plus any number of other miraculous achievements over the years … Hell, did consequences even matter anymore? All she knew in that moment was that this felt so _right_. The way their bodies seemed to fit together perfectly as they stood there. The rush and thrill of the way his lips moved against hers in a demanding dance, his tongue darting out to entwine with hers. The searing heat of his fingers against her skin. Maleea found herself wondering how she could have ever held back before. _Why had she ever thought waiting would be the right choice_?

But along with all of this came the inevitable recollection of words that he'd spoken more recently when she'd questioned him. It had been playing at the back of her mind ever since. Kaidan was actively looking for someone from his past, someone he'd made it quite clear that he wanted to be with.

_Missed opportunities …._

The sickening crash of sudden self doubt and hesitancy that had held her back from admitting anything to him years before quickly returned and overwhelmed her. _He is looking for the one he wants … but it is not me,_ a voice in the back of her head whispered.

_Skipper, don't you dare!_

But Maleea knew better than the ghost of Ashley's memory this time. Her chance had come … and gone.

Maleea's initiative had taken Kaidan by surprise - he wasn't afraid to admit that - and from the get go, he felt like he was racing to keep up. The delightful sensation of her lips on his, the hint of fire behind her every soft moan and brush of fingers against his chest inflicted the sweetest pain imaginable. So, it took Kaidan several pounding heartbeats to realize that Maleea had pulled back from him for reasons other than catching her breath. In the blink of an eye, she retreated; physically, emotionally. Head lowered, she did not, or would not, look him in the eye. Confused, he murmured, "Mal -?"

"I'm sorry," she whispered softly. Kaidan blinked, finding himself at a complete loss. He heard pain there, too. What was going on? Maleea pulled back further, releasing her hold on him even as he reached out for her. She took a step backwards, firmly putting more distance between them. Before he could say anything in response, she spoke again. Her voice a bit louder than before but still a little shaky, she added, "Forgive me," before turning and fleeing indoors, leaving him standing alone on the front porch staring after her in bewilderment. _What the hell just happened?_ As he retreated indoors to his own room, he wondered if he'd ever know.

* * *

_**Songs mentioned above are:**_

_**1) "Life is a Highway" - Rascal Flatts version**_

_**2) "Boondocks" - Little Big Town**_


	6. Walls Come Tumbling Down

Shame in the form of embarrassment and awkwardness dogged Maleea's steps in the days immediately following her miscalculated blunder, but she dug deep inside of herself and found ways to move past that. She was a survivor, right? She was Commander fucking Shepard. She could do this, _had_ done this before, would likely have to do it periodically in her life to come. She had become a master at finding ways through the difficult times to keep on going. She would salvage what she could from the relationship she had with Kaidan - she'd done that before too, hadn't she? It had taken a while, but they'd managed to re-establish that balance to their relationship afterwards. They could do so again, couldn't they? She would savor the memories, but when it came right down to brass tacks, she would simply keep on marching. Life went on, or so they said. So would she. And no one would be any the wiser for what had happened. Or nearly happened, to be more accurate.

That the ache in her heart whenever she looked at him or the replaying of the kiss in her dreams at night would be there, ever the constant reminder - the overt hints at what could possibly have been between them, was a different story.

At the same time though, and serving as a much needed distraction from such personal issues, the preparations for moving the cattle to the fairgrounds and getting the kids' areas set up for the competition required some organizational efforts on her end of things. Together with Kaidan's help, Maleea centered her focus on that task and finally managed to get it all arranged. Stalls at the fairgrounds were assigned. Necessary gear was loaded into the truck. Teenage nerves were soothed as best as Maleea could manage in the days leading up to the event. And when the day finally did arrive, the trailer was hitched up and loaded with each teen's entry. Bright and early on that day, the kids arrived at the farm to assist with the last minute scramble, but all in all things proceeded well and more or less according to plan. Maleea handed over the keys, telling Gavin, "Kaidan and I will meet you over there in a few hours, but this is your show now. Go on over and get set up."

The kids all shared a look with each other before climbing into the vehicle. "We'll be ready," Shane promised.

Maleea nodded, a smile filled with pride in them tilting at her lips. "I know you will. Good luck." Stepping back from the truck, she watched as Gavin slowly pulled it down the drive towards the main road. Chief and LT came bounding out from corners unknown, chasing after until Maleea whistled sharply to call them back to her side as she turned around to return to the house.

Kaidan was waiting for her at the top of the steps, arms crossed as he leaned against the railing. It took every bit of strength and willpower she possessed for Maleea to not walk over to him and repeat her performance from a few weeks before. Her first thought as she took in the sight of him was that he did casual too damned well. Bold lines and strong, sharp edges, each and every one of them she was used to seeing when they were in armor, seemed even more defined now when clad in denim and cotton. _It's not fair_, she groaned inwardly as she climbed the steps to walk past. _Why must I be tested like this? _

"I'm ready when you are."

By themselves, the words were nothing out of the ordinary. But in her current state, her thoughts running rampant already, her mind clearly on him even though she kept trying to shove it away, it was practically enough to make her willpower break. Maleea had to force her steps to continue even as his deep baritone echoed inside her head. _Sweet Lord, Kaidan, so am I!_ "We'll leave in a couple hours," she finally managed to reply and could only wonder if he noticed the way her voice cracked just the tiniest bit as she spoke before stepping inside the house. A couple of hours would give her plenty of time to get ready … and hopefully by then she would have herself pulled together mentally as well.

As he had since that night on the porch, Kaidan watched Maleea closely as she walked by. There had been a certain level of wariness he'd detected in the days following that was to be expected, he supposed, given what had happened between them. Even though he still didn't fully understand what had gone wrong or why, he realized that whatever the cause, it was making Maleea uncomfortable. That being the case and despite any personal feelings of dismay he might have felt, Kaidan had made the decision to give her distance. No pressure. He didn't want her to feel awkward or embarrassed about it by any means, even though he would have preferred a chance to continue what she'd started. But, she had made it clear at the time that she was pulling away for her own reasons, and he wasn't about to force the situation, or himself, on her.

So, while Maleea took the time to get ready, Kaidan made one last tour of the farm. All necessary chores had been completed, but given that they would be gone most of the day he figured one last check wouldn't hurt. With LT and Chief bounding around him happily (they would be remaining home), he managed to kill off the minutes in rapid fashion. By the time he returned to the house, he found Maleea descending the stairs … and the sight of her was enough to cause him to stop in the doorway and simply stare up at her in wonderment.

Maleea chewed her lip nervously as she walked down the stairs. Though she knew what she was wearing was comfortable and practical enough for going to the fair, she found herself nervous at what Kaidan's reaction to it might be. He and her other friends and former crew members were used to seeing her in a completely different light - more refined, perhaps? Certainly in classier clothing than what she was currently wearing. For that matter, a part of Maleea half expected Kasumi to pop up out of nowhere with yet another of her fancy get-ups like the one Maleea had worn to Donovan Hock's party. Miranda, she suspected, would shudder in horror if she could see the former Commander at that moment. But for Maleea, whose roots had always remained in her comfortable yet simple family upbringing, her new wardrobe was as much a reflection of that as was the sleepy drawl that characterized her voice.

Eyes meeting Kaidan's when she was about halfway down, they only broke apart when the two animals nearly bowled him over trying to get indoors behind him. Chuckling softly, Maleea quickly descended the rest of the way. "You okay?" she asked, ushering the animals into the other room and out of underfoot.

Kaidan nodded, but Maleea thought she saw something in his eyes. Shock, maybe? "Um, yeah," he managed after a moment. "You look … good."

Blinking back surprise, she realized she should have expected his response to be somewhat neutral. When it came to critiquing such things, Kaidan wasn't nearly as brash as, say, someone like Jack. Flashing him an appreciative, if somewhat tentative, smile, Maleea automatically smoothed her hands over the material of the flower printed skirt she was wearing. "Thanks." Because the summer days of Mindoir could become quite hot without much warning, she'd selected a darker tank top (she knew all too well that the chances of things going from 'good' to 'I need help this instant' at the colony fair was high, so she'd dressed somewhat accordingly in case she was needed) beneath a lighter weight and longer sleeved shirt that she wore tied at the waist. It was a look she'd pulled off many times as a teenager (with jeans as often as possible or until her father gave her that 'you'll wear a skirt or you'll be grounded' sort of look), which had come about after she had discovered a picture of her mother from her youth dressed in a similar manner back home on Earth.

"Ready to go?"

Kaidan's question broke through the memories, and Maleea nodded. She'd opted to pull her dark auburn curls back into a loose and somewhat messy twist atop her head, but it seemed to be holding for now. "Let's get this show on the road," she replied and turned with a bit of a spin and added force, just enough to make the skirt flare out a little. She chuckled as she noticed his eyes were drawn to the movement, but he moved to open the door for her quickly enough. "What's wrong?" she asked lightly as she walked past. "You've seen me in a skirt before."

Kaidan flushed just a bit as unbidden memories of their undercover operation at the Casino on the Citadel returned. He had, that was true enough, though he was still a bit unsure why she'd chosen him as her escort that night. "This is different," he tried to explain.

"How so?" Maleea challenged as she skipped down the steps.

"Well … you look more …"

His hesitation had Maleea glancing over at him. "Less sophisticated?" she offered.

Kaidan's eyes widened. "No! Of course not!" he insisted. "I mean -"

Laughing, Maleea reached the truck and opened the passenger door. Damn the man, but he'd already snatched her key. "Relax, Kaidan," she assured him as she pulled the door shut. "I was teasing."

He sighed softly as he took his place behind the controls. "I just meant that you look more … relaxed? Comfortable, maybe?"

Smiling, Maleea leaned back in her seat and pointed out, "Well, remember, most people here don't know I'm Commander Shepard, Savior of the Galaxy and all. What better way to continue to put them off from thinking that than by dressing in a way that the rest of the galaxy wouldn't even _dream_ that Commander Shepard would dress. Right?"

As Kaidan shifted the truck into gear and pulled it down the drive and out onto the main road, he glanced over at her. "You know," he mused quietly, "your logic can be truly frightening at times."

Maleea chortled. "But, am I right?" she countered.

Kaidan shook his head back and forth a couple of times. "I'm not even going to dignify that with an answer," he replied.

Maleea gasped softly, feigning shock and dismay. "Why, Major Alenko," she teased, purposely thickening her drawl and lowering her tone, "don't tell me you are …," she glanced out his window, then her own and then back at him though she was unable to hide the teasing smirk, "chicken?"

Kaidan scowled at her, though inside he had to admit he was pleased that he could witness this more playful side of her personality. In some ways, she was so unlike her former self, he could almost believe that her 'disguise' would work to keep people from recognizing who she really was. On the other hand, he also couldn't help but wonder if she might believe it _too_ much and not take the threat against her seriously. In the months he'd been on Mindoir, there hadn't been any indications that the threat against her was a real one worthy of such attention. Hell, if he hadn't been the one to figure it out and bring it to Liara's attention, chances were he might not have believed it himself. But he had been and he did. "That's funny," he replied. "I thought we were dealing with cattle."

Maleea snorted softly. "Clever," she returned, though she had to admit the little bit of bantering seemed to have eased the tension she'd felt between them for the moment.

The drive to the fairgrounds didn't take long. Maleea guided Kaidan to a parking place and then on through the grounds to find the kids. After checking in with the three teens and reassuring herself that they were as prepared as they could be, Maleea led Kaidan off to the side so that they could watch without presenting too much of a distraction. There were quite a few competitors from around the colony entered, she discovered, and she couldn't help but hope that the events would turn out well for all of the kids involved.

Time passed at an easy pace. Maleea and Kaidan found a place where they could sit and watch with the rest of the crowd. It was several hours later and only when Maleea's stomach began to rumble and indicate its need for food that she caught Kaidan's attention and they left the area for the main part of the fairgrounds. "They won't need us?" Kaidan asked as they walked away.

Maleea shook her head. "They'll be fine. Their part is done, at least. If they should need us for some reason, they'll track us down." She grinned at him. "Never fails, trust me!"

Kaidan chuckled. "Alright. So, where to then?" A sparkle lit Maleea's green eyes, he noted. He suddenly felt very wary.

Maleea laughed, recognizing the signs of Kaidan going on a somewhat heightened state of alert. "Relax, Kaidan," she told him. "I promise, it's all good. Actually, I figured we'd go to the stand Shane and Shauna's mother is running." She gave him a hearty wink. "I hear she's got steak sandwiches." Her laughter was full and deep as he grabbed her hand and began pulling her in the direction of the food stands even though he didn't know where exactly he was headed.

The afternoon passed amiably enough. After lunch - Maleea made a mental note to send a note of explanation to Shane and Shauna's mother as to _why_ Kaidan had practically inhaled three sandwiches all on his own - they strolled around the other stalls in the area. The fair would run for three days, though Maleea only had plans to attend this first day, and there were plenty of opportunities for amusement as well as work related activities.

As she showed Kaidan around, pointing out the different areas, identifying certain games that they both agreed seemed to transcend time and place and continue to entice participants young and old through the centuries, Kaidan felt a growing concern pricking at the back of his mind. "Tell me something," he murmured after a while. "After what happened when you were sixteen, the attack I mean, how can the colonists here remain so relaxed at a time like this? Shouldn't there be a guard on watch or something?"

Though Maleea smiled, there was a sadness to it as the memories inevitably returned. "Trust me, Kaidan," she replied softly, "there is a guard watch. However, it's kept as inconspicuous as possible so as not to worry the general population. They know it's there, but they don't need the constant reminder that it is."

"Do you think keeping them in the dark is a wise -"

"They aren't," she assured him. "Changes - many changes - were made when they rebuilt after 2170. All public locations now have panic rooms, houses all have their own, that sort of thing. The Alliance has a presence here, but it's kept as minimized as possible." She sighed. "I think the philosophy is that after what happened last time, we've learned to take our pleasures where we can when we can."

They continued on in silence for a time, but it was while they were walking down the central path through the midway that Maleea finally spotted the one activity she'd been keeping an eye out for ever since her experience the previous summer.

Nudging Kaidan's arm with her elbow, she murmured, "Fancy a bit of target practice?"

Eyes narrowing in confusion, he managed a shrug. "I guess?"

Chuckling softly, Maleea assured him, "You'll see why in a minute." Walking over to the vendor, Maleea smiled warmly at the older man, the same one as the year before, she noticed immediately. "Good to see you this year, Nicholas," she greeted him.

Maleea nearly laughed aloud as the man's face moved from pleasant greeting to shocked silence and then straight on to absolute denial and immediate protest. "No," he groaned, hands moving out before him, waving her off in a frantic manner. "Not again, please!"

Maleea pretended to pout, but it only lasted a moment before laughter finally erupted. Raising her hands in surrender, she announced, "I promise, Nicholas, not this year! Besides," she glanced around the immediate area, "you don't see a hoard of children following me around this time, do you?"

"They didn't show up until after you won the first round!" Nicholas protested.

Rolling her eyes, Maleea let them land on Kaidan. "I have apparently been banned for life," she pointed out. Though Kaidan maintained a calm and controlled look, Maleea noticed a hint of amusement behind his eyes.

"Perhaps I can restore your reputation?" he offered in an innocent manner.

Maleea looked over at Nicholas. "Will you allow my friend here to give it a try?" she asked.

Nicholas opened his mouth, Maleea was certain he was about to protest, but there were too many people wandering around them really for the man to enforce his ban against Kaidan. He was intelligent enough to realize that to do so could lead to loud protestations, and, after all, he didn't want to lose _all_ of his business. Sighing heavily, he nodded and moved to prepare the laser gun and the targets.

While doing so, Kaidan whispered near Maleea's ear, "Care to clue me in?"

Maleea chuckled. "Last year I sort of cleaned him out of all of his prizes on the first day," she replied. She shrugged at Kaidan's knowing grin. "What can I say?" she asked. "There were a bunch of kids hanging around, and many of them either didn't have the money or the skill to shoot. I was available …."

"So you won the prizes for them?"

Maleea nodded. "Something like that, yeah," she added more quietly as Nicholas handed over the weapon to Kaidan.

"You always were a soft touch," Kaidan told her as he shouldered the laser gun and took his first shot, his thoughts drifting back to the War and the few times he'd seen Maleea (without her knowledge) with the children in the refugee camps on the Citadel. Even as Maleea chuckled and Nicholas groaned around him, the older man suddenly realizing that Kaidan was just as good of a shot as Maleea, Kaidan pulled himself back to the present and refocused himself on the target before him, lining up his second shot. After the third successful hit, Nicholas tossed his hands in the air and pleaded, "Please, just pick your prize and go. Leave me _some_thing this year!"

Kaidan glanced over at Maleea who turned and gave thoughtful consideration to the prizes hanging along the wall. Finally selecting a plush-filled varren that closely resembled LT, Nicholas traded it to Kaidan in return for the weapon. And, though Kaidan and Maleea turned and walked away as requested, they did notice a few more individuals beginning to make their way over to the shooting gallery.

Chuckling softly, Maleea tucked the toy beneath her arm. "Thanks."

Kaidan smiled back. "I suspect we will both be turned away next time," he observed casually.

Though she found herself laughing along with him at the thought, deep inside, Maleea found that the truth of his words was more than a little bit painful. _Next time_. She found the phrase repeating itself in the back of her mind as they continued to walk through the venues. She couldn't help but wonder if there would be a next time …

She was startled from her reverie by a slight shock at her elbow that made her jump. "What?" Turning, Maleea glanced up at Kaidan, confusion clear on her face. "What the hell …?"

Kaidan chuckled and lifted his hand between them so she could see the residual biotic energy fading away from his fingertips. "I called your name three times. You weren't responding, so …."

"I …." Maleea blinked. "I guess I wasn't," she agreed, half-heartedly rubbing at the abused area. "I'm sorry, what did you ask?"

"I wanted to know how much longer you were wanting to stay," he replied, pulling up his omni-tool to check the time.

Maleea glanced at it. Sighing, she pondered the question a moment. "Well, there'll be music and dancing later," she explained.

"I think I have a fair idea how _that_ will turn out," he countered mildly.

Frowning, she hit him on the arm with the varren. "Oh, hush! My dancing wasn't _that_ bad!"

Chuckling and finally relieving her of the 'attacking' varren, Kaidan returned, "Um, Mal, I saw you in action, so to speak? Don't kid yourself."

She grasped the toy, yanked it back into her hands and whacked him on the arm with it one last time for good measure. "So, … you may have a point," she agreed after a moment. "But it's the only one I'll grant you." She was, technically, still healing after all. Right? That would account for any stumbling or difficulties in dancing.

Sighing softly after a moment, Maleea nodded towards the car park area. "Seriously though, we can head back any time. I'd be just as good with a quiet night at home than staying here for the loud music and such. Unless you _want_ to stay for …." He turned to face her for a moment, eyes meeting hers, and as her words trailed off, Maleea couldn't help but feel that he was weighing his decision. Tilting her head to the side a little, her brows furrowed in question. "You okay?" she asked.

He nodded, though. "Yeah. A night in sounds good, though," he finally replied.

The drive home was done in companionable silence. The only words spoken between them came as they pulled the truck up beside the barn when Kaidan voiced a question regarding the other truck. "The kids'll bring it back with their animals at the end of the fair," she explained.

LT and Chief came bounding out from behind the barn then, bouncing around between Maleea and Kaidan as the two humans walked towards the house. At one point, as Maleea was making the last step up onto the porch, Kaidan directly behind her, Chief became just a bit more exuberant than was absolutely necessary causing Maleea to lose her balance and fall backwards. Yipping barks of concern mixed with frantic growls, but it was the feel of Kaidan's arms around her that had Maleea sighing with relief. "Thanks," she murmured a moment later, soundly back on her feet again.

Kaidan, his own relief surging through him to a point where he kept his arm around her for support probably just a bit longer than absolutely necessary, just nodded. It wasn't until they were inside the house that he managed to find his voice. "You … you're alright?"

Maleea nodded. "Fine," she assured him, though she felt the stain of embarrassment still heating her cheeks. Some Commander Shepard she was! Biting on her lip, she added, "I'll … just … go make dinner, I guess."

Kaidan, shaking his head, headed upstairs.

* * *

A quick shower and a change of clothing helped clear his mind. The entire time, he allowed his thoughts free rein, and came to realize that the several instances of verbal stumbling around with her this afternoon were, in all likelihood lingering after effects of that kiss she'd given him a few weeks ago. _That_ realization took a moment to accept, a long look in the mirror (he wasn't a teenager anymore for crying out loud!) and a few meditation exercises whose usual purpose was for warding off migraines, but served as a way for him to help recenter his willpower and self control. He had openly admitted (to himself, anyway) that he had feelings for Maleea. That they had been there for a number of years. But until she showed some outward acceptance of those attentions herself, he had vowed to keep it to himself. That was to be expected, right?

When he felt ready and sufficiently under control, Kaidan headed back down to the kitchen in search of Maleea. As he turned into the kitchen, though, he felt all of his resolve that he'd gained upstairs nearly fly out the window. What he came upon made clear the things he _hadn't_ expected. The shortness of breath he felt at finding her there, barefoot (she'd kicked off her shoes at some point) and still dressed in her skirt and blouse, hair still mostly twisted up into a loose knot atop her head, a few loose tendrils escaping down her back and shoulders. The increased tempo of his pulse (he could hear it thrumming along so clearly, couldn't she?) as she stood beside the counter chopping away at something, the sound of her knife offering a steady rhythm in time with the music she had turned on in the other room and could be heard filtering into the cooking area.

Pausing for a very long moment in the doorway to drink in the sight of her, Kaidan found himself reconsidering his resolutions from just minutes before, wondering if he should just find the nerve and tell her how he felt.

Her humming switched to singing then, her voice a soft counterpoint to the duet on the stereo. It was something else that gave Kaidan pause for consideration. He was discovering so many small things, _personal_ things, about her that he'd never known before, and suspected that no one outside of her parents might ever have known. She had always been a private person. The fact that she'd been a survivor of Mindoir had been general knowledge during her years in the Alliance surprised him, actually. Most of the things commonly known about her were stories from her years in service. Then again, he reasoned silently, maybe there had been others who had become close enough to be given the privilege of knowing about her past. After all, it had been two years since he'd last seen her. Liara had told him of the members of the _Normandy_ crew had visited with her on a regular basis. And of course, Maleea herself had told him of that one person she'd been interested in from her past. Maybe he'd learned things about her even if he hadn't known how she felt about him? Perhaps Kaidan had missed out on more than he'd thought over the past couple of years ….

Maleea did a half spin then, turning towards the refrigerator to pull out some carrots from the look of things, all the while still half singing and half humming to the music. He remained where he stood, though, hesitant to step forward because he really was enjoying seeing her this way. But then she surprised him, raising her voice in harmony with the song just a little - a throaty, husky sound - and it hit him like a solid punch to his gut. No one should be allowed to have a voice that sounded like liquid sin ….

_Take me as I am  
Someone you could know  
Even as we speak  
You could change your mind  
Take me while you can  
Even if you shine a light into a mirror  
You won't see me any clearer**_

The song was an old and familiar one, like a constant companion during the couple of years between her rescue from Mindoir and joining up with the Alliance, but also a mantra of sorts. If there had been anything that Maleea had been sure of during those years, despite the tragedy that had befallen her family and the other colonists, it had been a sense of self. It was something she'd held close during her years of service as well, guiding her along the way, especially during difficult times. And god knew there'd been a lot of those. But upon her return to Mindoir, she had fallen back into the habit of listening to the song again, of reminding herself that she was who she was no matter what others thought, of reminding herself of certain other things when doubts began to settle too ….

Her thoughts clearly occupied far from the kitchen, Maleea was startled at a sound behind her. Just the merest hint of fabric brushing against itself, but her ears caught it. Years of instinct clearly not forgotten, Maleea spun around, knife at the ready, dropping into a light combat stance. Even as she did so, a small part of her brain wondered if she'd ever grow out of that habit. A moment longer and she realized she hoped she never would.

Of course, the minute she turned around, Maleea realized who it was behind her and she began to relax. An embarrassed chuckle escaping her lips, she turned back and set the knife on the counter behind her before reaching for a rag to wipe off her hands. Nodding towards the refrigerator, she offered, "There's beer in there if you want one. Dinner will be ready in a little bit."

She was already turning back to her preparations when she realized he was still standing in place, unmoving in action or response of any kind. Glancing back, she asked, "Kaidan? Are you alright?" Kaidan's gaze met hers, but Maleea noted he remained silent. Crossing the room, she stopped a few steps away from him. "Kaidan?"

Once, when Kaidan had been young, his father and grandfather had taken him deer hunting. He was familiar with the feeling of being at the firing end of a rifle, of bringing a target into focus, of holding it in the crosshairs as he gently pulls the trigger. For the first time in his life, Kaidan was beginning to understand what it must feel like to be caught in the crosshairs himself. "I'm okay," he finally managed, offering what he hoped was a reassuring smile, because if she had any idea how muddled his thoughts were just then and all because of her ….

Moving finally, Maleea watched him cross over to retrieve two beers from the refrigerator. She took the one he handed her and opened it with a quick twist, knocking the neck of her bottle against his gently in a silent toast before returning to dinner preparations. "So," she called over her shoulder at him, "what did you think about the fair?"

Kaidan took a seat at the table knowing Maleea would ask for his assistance if she needed it and would grouse about him hovering if she didn't. "I find myself wishing I'd been around last year to see exactly what happened with your friend Nicholas," he replied.

Maleea chuckled. "Yes, well, despite his grumblings, Nicholas was quite well reimbursed for his inconvenience," she assured him with a smile. "I think perhaps he was more concerned that he was caught so off guard as he was. Quite literally, every child from the youngest toddlers to older teens found me at his booth as I was shooting. How could I deny them?"

"Reminds me of a couple of your visits to the refugee camps on the Citadel," he mused, putting a voice to his observations from that afternoon. He saw her turn to look at him, surprise causing her green eyes to widen almost impossibly huge. "What?" he countered. "It was after the clone attack. I followed you a few times just to make sure you were safe. So did Garrus, Liara, Tali. I think even Cortez took duty once or twice."

"Duty?" she challenged.

"We were worried about your safety," he countered as he saw her temper beginning to flare. "Think about it - If Brooks and the clone could manage to infiltrate and manipulate you so easily …."

Maleea sighed after another moment and finally backed down. "Okay, point," she reluctantly agreed. "But damn, I wish you guys would quit spying on me!"

Kaidan rose to his feet and moved over by the counter. "Is that what you think we were doing?"

Knife in hand, Maleea used it to point at him. "Liara all but admitted as much when she was here," she reminded him. "At least _you_ had the decency to tell me _before_ you decided to stay."

Kaidan set his beer aside, leaned his hip against the counter and folded his arms across his chest. "So … you're upset that we care about you?"

"No," she insisted with a shake of her head. "Just that I seem to be the last one to always know about these things! I was your commander! Why you all felt you had to hide it from me in the first place -"

"How about because you were already under enough strain and pressure during the war?" Kaidan challenged. "You were too busy worrying about the next battle, finding the resources Hackett needed for the Crucible, making the necessary alliances, fighting a two front war by taking on Cerberus _and_ the Reapers. We all knew that. We also knew that it wasn't a one person sort of job and we wanted to help how we could, to make it easier on you." Reaching out, Kaidan grasped her by her arms and turned her to face him fully. "I can't speak for the others, but _I_ wanted to help because I care, Mal."

Maleea felt her breath catch. Not so much at his tone of voice or the slight crack she heard at the end of his explanation. Nor was it the hold he had on her, gentle but firm at the same time, clearly a refusal to allow her to pull away and leave just yet. Instead, it was the deepening intensity she found in his eyes. "Kaidan …?"

It was the whisper of her voice that spurred him into action in the end. A mixture of question and concern and hesitation that reached out and reeled him in so fast it left his head spinning. Throwing caution to the wind along with a silent prayer that he wasn't about to ruin everything between them by what he intended next, Kaidan altered the pressure of his fingers against her to urge her to take another step towards him. Only then releasing his hold on her, he lifted one hand to brush some of the loose strands of hair back from her eyes. "Haven't you figured it out yet?" he asked quietly. She looked confused and he decided that there was one way to show her exactly what he meant. Leaning towards her, he sought out her lips with his own.

Warmth. Softness. That hint of sweetness and spice that was all her. The longer his lips lingered against hers, the less he wanted to release her. It could have been seconds or minutes later when he pulled back, just enough to give them both space to breathe, but he also lowered his forehead to rest against hers. "Mal -"

Her hand rose between them, pushing against his chest, but he could still see inside her eyes and what he found there concerned him on multiple levels. A deep sadness began to well up and he felt a corresponding and rather painful lurch inside his chest. Apparently, he'd judged the situation wrong.

"Kaidan, … we can't," she whispered, an edge of pain to her tone as she spoke, her hand increasing pressure against him.

"Why?" he asked, his voice sounding a bit harsher than he'd intended, but he had come too far to step back from this now. Not without some answers, anyway. It was going to have to be all or nothing with her - like always. "It's not like we have fraternization regs to worry about here." She shuddered and Kaidan grasped her arms again. "Talk to me, Maleea," he pleaded. "Tell me why you think we can't do this!" Sighing, he added, "If it's me, I'll back off. I will -"

He saw her eyes close, her lips parted as she breathed in a manner that insisted she was just as affected physically as he was, but her outward reaction was clearly fighting against that. "No! It isn't you," she whispered, her head dropping for a moment. "I mean, it is you … You told me once you're looking for someone else!" She seemed to gather herself, and a moment later she lifted her head, eyes opened to face him once again. "You told me that yourself, Kaidan! I'm not the one -"

Groaning, Kaidan's hands moved to cradle her face. "Maleea, look at me," he begged when her eyes closed again. "Please!" It took her another long minute, but she finally did open her eyes to meet his. "It was you," he promised. "You were - _are_ - the one I am looking for. The woman I met so long ago, back on the SR1 who took life by the horns and met it on her terms. The commanding officer who gave as good as she took, who led her team to hell and back and had them all following out of personal dedication and loyalty."

His eyes now closing for a long moment, Kaidan struggled to find a way to explain. "I know I had doubts after Cerberus brought you back," he rasped, "and I know that lasted a lot longer than it should have ..."

"Kaidan," Maleea whispered, hand rising to cover his lips. "Don't."

He shook his head free of her touch. "I have to Mal. You need to know. I," he sighed and used his thumb to trace her cheekbone in a gentle sweep. "Almost from the moment we met, there's been no one else for me but you."

Her eyes were locked onto his now, her attention solely focused on him. "What?" she asked, her voice now a ragged whisper. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Kaidan shrugged. "I didn't want to make things complicated for you," he admitted. "You were my commander. You showed no interest in me or anyone beyond friendship. Why would I even think -"

"No interest?"

Maleea paled a little then and Kaidan could see the spray of darker freckles across her face just that much more clearly against her skin.

"Kaidan …." Maleea sighed, but she did not pull away from him. Instead, her fingers began moving along his cheek, brushing lightly, almost tentatively. She sighed then and muttered, "Dammit! Ash was always on my case trying to get me to tell you how I felt about you."

Kaidan blinked. "Me?"

Maleea nodded. "Yeah. Remember the one I let get away?" Kaidan gasped, his head bobbing once in affirmation. "That was you."

Groaning, Kaidan dropped his forehead to meet hers again ….

Stepping towards him, Maleea closed the distance between them, but he apparently had the same idea because even as she tilted her head so that her lips could meet his, he was already there, all heat and hunger and urgent need. Maleea wasted no time or hesitancy, instead opting to slip her arms around his shoulders as his hands settled at her waist; firm, an anchor in the storm that was suddenly raging around them with the walls between them now gone. She reveled in the taste of him again, that hint of spice mixed with beer and just enough of a spark of electricity to make her wonder if it was his biotics or just the natural reaction between the two of them causing it.

The contact broke though when he lifted her off her feet unexpectedly. Gasping, hands tightening around his neck, she soon realized he was simply lifting her to sit on the tabletop, a move that brought her closer to eye level with him. The moment she was seated, however, his hands rose to frame her face and tilt it back to meet his. With a soft groan of need and want, she did just that, leaning towards him, fingers threading through his hair, tongue darting out to meet his. She felt him shudder beneath her touch as her fingers brushed against his biotic implant, though he was quick to grasp her hand as she began pulling away in concern.

"It's … okay," he managed after a moment even as he rubbed his nose alongside of hers. Gently, he moved her hand back to where it had been until she repeated the movement. This time, he emitted a soft yet encouraging growl along with the shuddering.

At the same time, Maleea also felt his hands lowering to her mid-section, fluttering against her ribcage through her clothing, just light enough for her to feel the sensations against her sensitive skin. Gasping roughly, Maleea yanked her head back from his, breaking their kiss, her hands dropping to capture his wrists in a tight grasp. "Uh … okay," she rasped roughly, eyes closed but a soft if somewhat desperate chuckle escaping her lips, "um … rule number one …."

Kaidan swallowed tightly, nodding even while pulling his hands back. "Okay."

Still breathing heavily, Maleea panted, "N-no … tickling …."

And in that moment, Kaidan gave way to laughter. It was light and carefree … and the situation so completely Maleea, he couldn't help himself. "You - you're ticklish?" he breathed in wonder.

Maleea's eyes narrowed. "Don't be thinking that means you can -"

Kaidan's laughter continued, but he kept his hands at a safe distance and in a non-threatening position. For the moment. "It's just nice to know that the unflappable Commander Shepard has some weaknesses, is all," he promised.

"Mmhmm."

Amusement reduced to safe chuckles, Kaidan brought his hands up to her shoulders, opting to caress her there rather than around her midsection. "You doubt me?" he asked.

Maleea sighed. "Not … exactly," she admitted brokenly as one hand slipped beneath the collar of her shirt, skimming lightly along the skin of her neck. "Oh god," she groaned as they reached a sensitive spot.

Kaidan felt the slightest tremor beneath his touch. Leaning in, he kissed her again; a quick, fast sneak attack. "Like that, do you?" he murmured against her lips.

"Kaidan …."

There was more than just a reply in that whisper, he thought. He could hear a plea. A note of desperation. More than just a hint of desire at what could possibly come next. Standing before her as he was, Kaidan made certain Maleea had room enough to break free if she so chose. Kissing and light touching were one thing. He was not about to presume to be able to read her mind … but her tone of voice, the way she trembled beneath his touches, even the unsteady rasping of breaths as she fought for air when their lips broke free after each kiss, were leading him down one inevitable path. It was time to step things up.

Slowly, carefully, Kaidan reached for the material of Maleea's skirt with one hand pulling the material upwards in small increments. First one inch. Then another. She didn't seem to notice, probably because she was sitting down, but by the time the hem of the garment was near his fingertips, he heard her soft gasp of recognition, watched as her eyes darted up to his. He heard her breathing hitch in anticipation, but he waited patiently. Only when she growled in frustration, leaning towards him and initiating a fierce kiss between them did he allow the tips of his fingers to slip beneath the material and brush against the bare skin of her thigh. He heard a groan, or maybe it was two, he wasn't sure. What he _was_ certain of was that he was the offender, but the way she broke their kiss and arched backwards against the arm he had wrapped around her had him wondering if she might not be echoing his own reaction.

His hand moved slowly, hesitantly, uncertain if she would be receptive to this idea. But even as his right hand rested on the inside of her left thigh, he lowered his head towards her. This time he placed a series of kisses along the edge of her jaw, trailing a path downwards along her exposed neck which had dropped backwards. He heard her gasp again, felt her shifting, attempting to move up into a seated position. Guiding her slowly, he helped her straighten, his lips moving back to meet hers. Pulling his left hand around, he grasped hers and guided it to the knot of material at her waist.

Maleea nodded, her hands shaking just a bit unsteadily as his other hand continued to move against her leg. She had no doubt of his intended destination, but he was taking his own sweet time getting there. When the knot of her shirt fell free, she shrugged out of the excessive fabric that was proving to be more hindrance than anything just then, though her tank top still remained between them. The look she saw in his eyes was … incredible, she decided. Pure desire; hunger mixed with awe and ….

His eyes dropped to her left shoulder and arm then, eyes pulling together in curiosity as his head tilted slightly.

"What?" she breathed, glancing down, her eyes following his. The visual she came upon was all she needed to remember. "Oh."

"When did you get that?" Kaidan asked. He'd assisted with treating Maleea several times when battlefield injuries required immediate care and attention. Once it had even required the removal of a damaged piece of armor and the clothing beneath it to tend to a particularly nasty wound on her left arm. He had no recollection of such a design on her before ….

"This past year," she told him, hands moving to the hem of her tank. Pulling the garment over her head, she heard him gasp, but finally was able to reveal the extent of the artwork. "Jack did it," she explained. "Covered up some of the scars left over from those surgeries …."

For the briefest of moments, Kaidan's eyes met hers, sadness passing between them. "Mal …"

Smiling, she leaned towards him and gave him a long, lingering and very gentle kiss. "It's over," she told him, reaching to take his hand from her leg and and bring it to the marked area. She groaned as he began tracing the design with calloused fingertips. "The design is a symbol of rebirth." She chuckled. "Sort of," she amended. "At least, that's how Jack interpreted it."

Kaidan eyed the design, the intricate paths and curves, the way it ran down and around her arm ending near her wrist, as well as down the entire left side of her torso. The only thing hindering his view was her bra, but he suspected that the ink trailed along beneath the fabric there as well. Reaching out, he traced the line that led down to the waist of her skirt. _Where did it end?_ he wondered.

"It stops at my hip," she whispered, shuddering again beneath his touch as she practically read his mind. "Dr. Chakwas and Miranda would have had Jack's and my heads if we'd gone lower. I was still recovering from the most recent surgery at the time, you see, and …."

Her words brought Kaidan up short. That was something he hadn't considered. "Mal?" he murmured, breaking his gaze away from the design to meet hers. "Are you physically able to …."

Maleea's smile was part reassurance, part hunger and need, and part grim determination. "I'd like to see someone stop me from trying," she told him, her voice dropping into more of a purring growl.

It took a moment before Kaidan realized that her declaration was the permission he needed to continue. Once he did, though, he decided it was time more forward again. His left hand sliding around her back to offer support once again, he gently nudged her backwards, assisting her to lie on the table while his right hand sought out its earlier destination. His lips found the side of her neck, and he skimmed along against the tender skin found at juncture with her shoulder. The sounds she made when he paused to give that area a bit more attention were nearly enough to drive him mad, but Kaidan was used to discipline, to being in control, and this was one time that he was very glad of it. She continued to tremble beneath him, another soft whimper breaking free from her lips followed quickly by another as his right hand slowly, surely caressed its way up her leg. Lightly, he brushed against the fabric he found there. This time, Maleea reacted with a hoarse cry, her hips involuntarily moving against his hand. "K-kaidan!"

Smiling against her skin, Kaidan kissed a path down her chest, curving around the shape of her bra while at the same time his other hand continued seeking entrance. A moment later, he slipped a finger beneath the elastic edge at the same moment his mouth closed over the matching fabric at her breast.

Despite the knowledge and security of laying back against the table, Maleea felt the world around her tilt precariously the moment his fingers and mouth made more intimate contact with her. It wasn't that the sensations were new to her, by any means, but never before had this felt so incredibly intense … or so right. She fought to speak, but all that came out were moans and sputters.

And then Kaidan's fingers shifted ever so slightly, carefully, gentle and yet insistent. The moment she felt the first slip inside of her, even though it was just the merest hint of what was to still come, a much louder cry escaped. In response, his lips tightened around her, increasing pressure and ignoring the fabric between his lips and her skin. Maleea swore she could feel herself drowning in sensation, at the same time she could feel the vibration of his own vocal reactions against her skin. "Dear … god," she whimpered. Her own hands rose to weave their way into his hair once again.

Releasing her breast, Kaidan lifted his head. Her hands were tugging at him, and he decided that kissing her lips again wouldn't be amiss right now. Just before descending, he altered the position of his hand and heard her cry out again.

Releasing her hold on him, Maleea's hands dropped to grasp at the front of his shirt, tugging, fumbling, trying her damnedest to unfasten it, but given the personal attention he was paying her just then, her attempts were falling well short. Where one struggle ended in failure, she sought success elsewhere. Closing her hands around the material, she pulled herself upwards. She knew she caught him off guard when both of his hands suddenly relocated to her waist, holding her still. Though it meant the loss of his touch, she tugged until she had the hem of his shirt removed from beneath the waist of his pants. Sliding her hands beneath, moving them quickly, lightly across his skin ever so slowly, she ghosted them upwards, the shirt following suit until it was bunched beneath his arms, the tails of it hanging down, covering her hands as they continued to move.

Calloused fingers scraping lightly across his skin sent tremors through him. Holding her waist tightly, he pulled her to the edge of the table where he was able to roll his hips into hers where they were cradled together, proving to her in no uncertain terms that she was affecting him just as much as he was her. "Mal," he rasped, one hand rising to lift her by her chin, searching her eyes, "are you sure?" His whole life, he'd always left a way out. Opportunity for retreat. It was largely behind why he'd never told her of his feelings before now. But this time, though he wasn't walking away, he would give her the chance ….

The sounds she was making should have been illegal, he thought. They didn't really answer his question, but they sure as hell supported her earlier claims. "Kaidan," she gasped, her fingers curling and scraping lightly along his chest even as she wrapped her legs around his waist, "don't you _dare_ back away from me now!"

He tilted his head inward again and captured her lips with a fierceness that belied the gentle caressing motions of his hands as they slid to cradle her hips. Carefully, he lifted her, waited a moment for her to get settled around him, then turned to exit the room. But where he would have headed for the stairs leading up to their rooms, he heard her rasp, "No … the back room is closer." It was then he remembered that the 'office' was actually a guest room.

Kaidan moved particularly slowly for someone whose pulse Maleea could feel racing so wildly beneath his skin. So while he focused on getting them to the room, she decided that it was an opportunity for her to do a little bit of exploring of her own. Imitating his earlier attentions to her, Mal began at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, smiling in a pleased fashion when she heard him grunt and hiss softly in reaction to her teeth scraping just lightly there. But instead of moving lower, she chose to trail her kisses along his neck, licking and laving her way along, pausing momentarily to pay particular attention to his Adam's apple, chuckling throatily as he both groaned and then swallowed tightly, before moving along to the opposite side from where she began. From there, she ventured up the side of his neck, capturing his ear lobe gently between her teeth and tugging.

Kaidan stumbled, the sensation caused by her actions shooting through him with as much force as one of his biotic moves. "Christ, Mal," he moaned, turning just before entering the room to press her against the wall.

Maleea chuckled. "Oops?" she teased. Kaidan rolled his hips against her again, a vivid reminder of where he stood on matters; an action that had her groaning in response as a new wave of awareness heightened within.

Pulling back a step, Kaidan entered the room. Thankfully, it was only a few steps to the bed. He moved to lay her across the mattress, but Maleea lowered her feet to the floor first. "Mal?"

Hands grasping him by his belt, Maleea shook her head. "Not yet," she told him. She moved quickly and with purpose, and while she managed to loosen his belt and unfasten the jeans, he removed the shirt that had confounded her a few minutes before.

Keeping his focus on her the entire time, Kaidan couldn't help but smile when her eyes widened at seeing him without the shirt. Lifting a hand to caress her cheek, he reminded her, "You've seen me like this before. Or have you forgotten Gellix?"

Maleea shook her head negatively, eyes closing as the memories came back with little prompting. He and Jacob had gone ahead, providing covering fire while she and Garrus had herded the remaining scientists to the shuttle. Just as the doors were opening to let the shuttle and them outside, a lucky shot by Cerberus troops made it through the gap of the door, hitting Kaidan in his upper shoulder/chest area. Maleea had heard him cry out, turned to find Jacob helping him along behind some crates, and it had been all that she could do to keep her and Garrus focused on the Cerberus attackers. "Slightly different circumstances," she pointed out, eyes finally rising to meet his again.

"True enough," he agreed, "but all I meant was that you shouldn't be so surprised."

Moving to settle and press her palms against him, Maleea nodded vaguely. There was the merest hint of a scar in that area, and acting on instinct, she leaned over to press a kiss to it.

Kaidan, of course, protested. Or tried to. "Mal, that wasn't what I -"

She shook her head, waving off his words. "I want to know every mark on you," she whispered fiercely. "The ones from Saren and the geth. The ones from Cerberus and the Reapers." Her fingers lifted to the corner of his lips that had fascinated her almost from the beginning. "The ones from before we ever met …."

Kaidan reached for one of her hands and pressed it to his left breast. "How about the mark that only you could leave?"

Forcing a scowl, she groused good naturedly and broke the moment with a hint of amusement, "You are such a sap, Alenko!"

Kaidan chuckled, but a moment later was groaning softly as her lips pressed against the skin there. Hands rising to her hair, he began searching for the pins that held the mass in place. "And you love it," he countered as he finally found one clip and removed it, allowing her curls to cascade around her shoulders.

Maleea reached for the closure to his jeans, opening it easily as she replied with a quiet chuckle, "Just shut up and kiss me, hmm?"

"I can do more than that," he replied suggestively. Acquiescing came easily, especially since Kaidan could honestly say that he was enjoying this with her. The give, the take; the heat of desire and passion broken with moments of humor and fun. It didn't surprise him in the least, not with Maleea, and it felt … right. Perfect.

The fire between them rekindling now, it didn't take long before the last of their clothing had been removed and they were lying beside one another on the bed. Soft sighs mixed with groans and whimpers, and all the while the explorations continued. With each increasingly frantic touch, Kaidan couldn't help but watch her move, memorizing every sensual expression that crossed her features, every erotic sound that passed her lips.

Emboldened by his biotics, the heat from Kaidan's touch coursed through every nerve ending he brushed, traced or caressed along her body. Maleea kept her eyes on his, noted the light that gradually began building there, the faintest hint of blue mixing in with the darker amber. Of course, she'd seen him like this before, in battle, but now it hinted at so much more ….

Kneeling, Kaidan pulled Maleea to her knees and across his lap. Her breathy cries and gasps encouraged his daring this first time for them. The feel of her skin against his; her voice rising in harmony with his.

Arms wrapped around his shoulders, Maleea noticed the biotic haze expanding first as a slight lightening of the air around them. She felt it next, the spark of electricity that had nothing to do with the chemistry between them but told her much more about the extent of his ability to control this power he had. The sudden flaring and surging of his biotics had her crying out his name as her own body responded, head dropping to his shoulder as she shuddered within his embrace.

Kaidan held her close, arms banding tightly across her back as he followed her into the abyss, his only cry a hoarse rasping near her ear, "Leea …"

* * *

The unexpectedness of a warm body lying beside her, curled around her, was nearly enough to cause Maleea's lips to part into a mixture of a battle cry and a shout of alarm. But in that momentary shift between sleep and wakefulness, recollection returned and the added press of a warm hand across her midsection went a long way to remind her of the circumstances leading up to this moment. "There you are," she heard his familiar baritone rumble near her ear.

Stretching like a cat, arms extended over her head, Maleea rolled in his arms, a welcoming smile on her lips, her hand lowering to lightly caress the darkening stubble at his cheeks. "No place I would rather be," she told him around a yawn.

Kaidan's smile widened just before he leaned down to kiss her. When he lifted his head, though, Maleea noticed a look of concern that hadn't been there just moments before. "Something wrong?" she asked.

He reached out to tuck some of her curls behind a delicately shaped ear, replying, "I was going to ask you that. I wasn't exactly … gentle last night."

The speed with which the heat raced up her neck and into her cheeks caught Maleea off guard. "I'm … I'll be fine," she finally managed, ducking her head just a bit to keep him from noticing. She should have known better.

Kaidan smiled and pressed another kiss to her forehead this time, his arm sliding around her back and waist and holding her close to his side. "Good," he murmured, "because I might have further plans for you."

Maleea gave up fighting the blush that she could feel deepening. "That's funny," she mused, altering her position slightly, "because I was thinking the same about you." Launching herself, they rolled until she lay atop him, across his chest.

Hands dropping to her waist to hold her steady, Kaidan chuckled. "Nice move," he murmured.

Maleea grinned. Winking at him, she dropped her voice and teased, "I've still got them."

She shouldn't have been surprised when he moved quickly, flipping them both over again until their positions were reversed. Laughing, eyes sparkling with a mix of enjoyment and desire, she moved her arms around his shoulders and murmured, "Apparently, so do you."

"Most definitely," he promised. Leaning forward, he kissed her, then nuzzled against her neck.

Maleea was torn between desire and caving to the ticklishness that plagued her where his whiskers brushed against sensitive skin.

In the end, it didn't matter. The sound of beeping from across the room had them both freezing, the mood instantly shot. Groaning, Kaidan rested his forehead against hers briefly before moving to rise from the bed. This room, this particular computer, he knew it could only be one person. When Maleea began moving to follow suit, Kaidan shook his head and pulled the bedclothes up over her. "Stay," he insisted. "I'll talk to her."

"Kaidan -"

"Leea, stay," he repeated, brushing a quick kiss against her cheek before reaching for his jeans.

"Liara," he greeted a few moments later, taking a seat as he finished pulling a sleeve of his shirt over his arm.

"Kaidan," the asari returned.

The small smirk at her lips keyed him into the fact that she had to have some idea of what had happened. He ignored it. "What can I do for you this evening?" he asked instead.

"I was going to update you on the situation," she explained, "but it looks as if you are otherwise … occupied."

When Liara's eyes drifted around him, Kaidan caught himself turning … to find Maleea laying on her side on the bed, head propped up by her arm, eyes intent upon both him and the screen with Liara. "That's one way to put it," she murmured with a chuckle.

Liara's amused laughter blended with Maleea's. "It can wait," she assured Kaidan. "Far be it from me to interrupt -"

"Liara."

Kaidan began to protest, but the asari shook her head. Flashing a warm smile first at Maleea and then at Kaidan, she finished, "Go on. We'll talk later." With that and the faintest of giggles, the screen faded.

Turning the chair around, Kaidan faced Maleea. "It's never going to be easy for us, is it?" he asked.

Chuckling, Maleea rose into a sitting position and allowed the bed clothes to fall away, pooling at her waist. "Kaidan, this is me … my life … I would have thought that in the years you've known me, you'd have figured that out already," she teased. "It doesn't change just because I'm no longer in the Alliance or a Spectre."

Rising to his feet, Kaidan crossed the room to sit on the edge of the bed beside her. Leaning over towards her, he paused and hovered just above her lips. "I suppose I'll just have to learn to live with it then," he replied.

Maleea, eyes finding his, sighed. "Kaidan?"

"Hmm?"

"Just shut up and -"

"Kiss you?" he finished. Closing the distance between them, he did just that … and more.

* * *

**_**"Take Me As I Am" by October Project_**


End file.
